Skip to main content

DISCLOSURES - Cookies

DISCLOSURES


This site uses cookies, mostly through Google's Blogger policy.


Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

It's True: You Really Can Make Better Decisions And Here's How…

4 Missing Ingredients to Better Decision Making

I’ve been facing some tough life decisions lately. So I thought I’d share with you what I’ve learned that has helped me make some of those tough decisions!

You Cannot Make Progress Without Making Decisions Attribution Some rights reserved by Celestine Chua

Attribution Some rights reserved by Celestine Chua


Take the Red Pill Neo!

Sometimes I find that I am a bit like Neo, from the Matrix. Always thinking there is something more that I am missing, but what is it? And then an opportunity comes up and I find myself locked in indecision. Should I take up this opportunity or let it pass? If I leave what I have I may never get it back. But If stay where I am I may never get this opportunity again. What should I do?

I find that I am often weighed down by indecision with simple things too. Take me to a fast food restaurant I've been to a hundred times and I will want to go in, not use the drive through. The drive through is too much pressure!

I want to go inside, stand out of line, to the side or back of the area and leisurely stare at the menu. I will more than likely buy the same thing I bought the last hundred times I came in. I still want to think about it, just in case I want to try something new.

Over the last few years I've gotten better at making decisions. It's still a struggle for me, but I'm getting better. I've also learned to trust my wife's intuition. Again, that is still a struggle for me, but I'm getting better! I love you Flavia!

There are concepts I learned in the last  few years that really helped me make better decisions. I don't think I've always made the right decision. But I have learned to make them, and that's a start!




Here are some of the problems I’ve run into and the solutions that have helped me make better decisions:

 

1. Complacency

It’s so easy to stay where I am. I may not like it. But it’s comfortable. I know this. I don’t know that new thing. Sure, I’m a slave to my situation, but I’m “taken care of” here. I've tried new food and not liked it as much as the food I was going to get. Then again, I've tried new food and it became my new favorite? What to do?!

When I think about the future, I end up talking a little like the children of Israel complaining about how they had food back in Egypt… where they were slaves. Then my friend Jack Ernst gave me an insight that I have been pondering ever since.

In the Bible, Esau forfeited his rights to his brother through carelessness and recklessness. But his brother was also a cheat and a thief.  Neither was a very good brother. What's interesting here, though, is the "Blessing" Isaac DID give to Esau after Jacob stole his birthright blessing.
Genesis 27:36-41
40“By your sword you shall live, And your brother you shall serve; But it shall come about when you become restless, That you will break his yoke from your neck.
Now Isaiah 10:27 reveals that “Breaking the Yoke” is directly related to the ministry and Anointing of Jesus. In fact Christ means "Anointed" So literally, and correctly translated "Jesus Christ" is actually "Jesus The Anointed One". See Isaiah 53 for examples of what the Anointing does.

What the blessing of Esau shows us is that the situation you are facing will be broken when you become too restless to stay as you are! When the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change, you will change.

You have to allow yourself to become fed up with the situation. Don’t shove that feeling down, allow it to grow.  Dietrich Bonheoffer called this feeling “Holy Restlessness.”

First Key Solution:
Become Restless!
 

2. The Pain of Change


If you have been paralyzed by indecision for too long consider this:
If you want something you've never had you will have to do something you've never done! Tweet That!
Or as Dave Ramsey says:
"You live like no one else so that you can live like no one else."
Sometimes the pain of staying where you are must be greater than the pain of what it takes to go somewhere else. Moving to a new place takes effort. Applying for, interviewing for, preparing for a new job takes effort. Leaving a bad situation to pursue new possibilities takes effort.

This pain of leaving is what keeps people in positions that make them miserable for years longer than necessary. Often they are waiting on God, while God is waiting on them!

In the Classic book Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap...And Others Don't (Affiliate Link), Jim Collins discusses the “Stockdale Paradox” (See On: YouTube).

You must be equally filled with brutal honesty about your current situation and be ready to act on the implications, all the while with expectation that you will prevail in the end! You might call this pragmatic optimism, or pessimistic hopefulness?

Second Key Solution:
Confront the Brutal Facts, and act on the implications, believe you will win!

3. The Feeling of Missing Out - The Power and Problem of Opportunity Risk


The problem of opportunities is that by definition you cannot do both.
Opportunity Risk:
The risk of doing one thing and loosing the ability to do the other.
Two easy examples of Opportunity Risk.

Risk In Job Changes
Check out this great article on LinkedIn about risk in a job change, click here.
If you leave this job you loose the opportunity to get promoted here.
If you stay you must loose the opportunity to leave.

Risk In Spending
If you spend $1,500 today on that new computer, you will loose the opportunity to invest that $1,500 an have $75,000 30 years from now.
If you invest that $1,500 you will loose the opportunity to have that computer now.
The power of “Opportunity Risk” is that you have the control. You must take the position that it is not situations or circumstances that cause you to be where you are, it is the decisions you have made that brought you here, and the decisions you make will take you to the next place, for better or worse. Once you take ownership over that, you can be free to take the authority God gave you over your destiny.

The first order of business, you need to pray. I don’t mean that you just prayed for his direction on these two options, but prayed to see if these ARE the two options? Often the devil tries to trap you with bad option A and worse option B.

Then God comes in with plan ZZ13 and blows up your original two options!

Honestly not every risk is worth it. The risk of leaving may cost too much. The risk of staying, though, may also be the greatest risk. If both risks are unacceptable it’s a good chance you’ve narrowed yourself too far down.

In fact, there are hardly ever JUST two options. Typically the more creative you are the more options you will find. If you’d like to be more creative check out this link from David Kelley “How To Build Your Creative Confidence.”

Towards the end he makes a statement that struck me for this topic of assessing risk. He says that all people can be creative people, it’s not a born characteristic but a learned trait. He works with people who say they aren’t creative to help them discover and nurture their God given creativity.
Then he says that:
“…the more creative a person became during his coaching the more options they would create for themselves to pursue…”
Imagine if you were led by the Holy Spirit, God Himself, and you had His unlimited mind at your disposal. He is THE Creator! He has unlimited options. So I challenge you to assess the risk, and explore your options. If you only have two, you haven’t looked deep enough yet.



Powerful Opportunity Risk Questionnaire

The purpose in asking these questions is to help you understand the situation better. To be brutally honest with yourself about the current situation and the potential options.
  • Have you prayed about this?
  • Are either of these God’s Options? Or are you asking Him to bless YOUR plan?
  • What are the opportunity risks in your decision?
  • Which risk is greater?
  • Is there more risk in staying or is there more risk in leaving?
  • Which risk has the most potential for reward?
  • Which risk has the most likelihood to take you closer to your destiny and help you reach your destination?
  • Which risk takes you closer to your core, who you know you are?
  • Which risk is going to provide the opportunity to grow into an area that you need to grow?
  • Which risk has the most potential pain? Most potential rewards?
  • Are there factors in one risk that are unacceptable? Deal Breakers?
  • Which risk has the most inner spiritual peace attached?
  • Are these two options your ONLY options?
  • What OTHER options can you think of?
  • What themes have you noticed running in your life?
  • Are there any old options you discounted then, that you could come back to now, in this new phase of life?

Third Key Solution:
Assess The Risk – Assess the Real Options
How Many Options Can You Think Of? Where is the Peace?

4. Standing By Your Decision

I have counseled so many people, myself included, that won’t take responsibility for their results. This isn’t to say that there are no cases where this wouldn’t be justified. But so often we say to ourselves and others things like:
“My life is this way because he/she did this…”
“I was born with this disability…”
“People from my part of town don’t get opportunities…”
“If only they had done this (or didn’t do that) I wouldn’t be here…”
Even in cases where something tragic happened that you had no control over, you can and must still take responsibility for the future. From this day forward you must master your own future, letting the Holy Spirit be your guide tower and master control. Or as I like to think of Him, your internal GPS. Except HE sets the destination. You either obey or not.

Stop regretting every decision that didn't work out the way you thought it should. Stop wishing you could go back because you think that the other decision would have been better. Maybe it would have been worse?

I like what Aslan said in Chronicles of Narnia. Lucy asks: "If I had come earlier, would all those people have died? Could I have stopped it?" Aslan responds: "We can never know what would have happened Lucy, but what will happen is another matter entirely..."



One way to stand by your decision without regret, even if it was a mistake, is to accept responsibility for it. Stand by it.
Own up to it.
Say: “Yes! That was me! I did that!”
It’s amazing how taking the responsibility for your decision(s), whether it turned out right or wrong, will make you freer to make another decision that will take you closer to your mark.

Your next decision will either be further down the right path, or course correcting toward your right path. Either way you can’t do that until you are willing to own up to it. It is your decision.


Fourth Key Solution:
Own It! Never Look Back, Only Forward!

The 4, make that 5 Keys To Better Decisions - In Review:

  1. Become Restless!
  2. Confront the Brutal Facts, Act On The Implications, Believe You Will Win!
  3. Assess The Risk  - Assess The Options!
  4. Own It! Never Look Back, Only Forward!
  5. Bonus Tip: Follow The Peace!
Quick Bonus Tip: Follow The Peace!

The better you understand it the more you will find either Peace or Uneasiness. Do not proceed without peace.
Here’s another great tip by LifeHacker: Follow Your Gut. Just ask the question:
“Is this right? Yes or No”
Where Is The Peace?

So now it’s your turn. These were not an exhaustive list, just some things I’ve used recently.

What do YOU do when you need to make an important decision?

Comment On This Post

______________________________________________
By Darrell Wolfe
www.DarrellWolfe.com
Connect
Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. I may also have received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.” A Big Thank You to Michael Hyatt for helping us Bloggers with these new legal disclosure requirements.

What are YOUR thoughts? Comment Below!

Comments

Reading List








DISCLOSURES

DISCLOSURES

Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Sign Up

Consider Supporting This Site: Become a Patron! Sign Up so you don't miss a post:

Special Delivery

* indicates required

View previous campaigns.

Powered by MailChimp

Darrell's Reading List


Here are some books I've been reading lately:
  • Hacker: The Outlaw Chronicles (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). The story of a young Hacker girl, who went on a wild adventure into the supernatural realm beyond trying to save her mom, but saved her self too in the process.
  • Saint: A Paradise Novel (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). He's an assassin, or is he? He finds a secret to his past that unlocks supernatural abilities, at a cost.
  • For a full list of all my book suggestions, see my Amazon Store.

Popular posts from this blog

Logos, JPG's and More

The best Subheader EVER!
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Pellentesque elementum at nibh vel placerat. Curabitur id efficitur dolor. Cras ac nulla elementum, laoreet erat ultrices, hendrerit magna. Duis vestibulum vulputate arcu accumsan consequat. Praesent ornare porta tellus, mollis ultrices ante euismod ut. Cras at augue ac est lacinia laoreet. Cras posuere auctor magna ac auctor. Suspendisse rutrum odio non placerat dictum. 
The best Minor Header EVER! Maecenas mattis ornare urna. In hendrerit lacus ac porta molestie. Etiam hendrerit sem et ante egestas, et imperdiet magna efficitur. Maecenas auctor orci lacus, eu porttitor tortor dictum sit amet. Nam rutrum malesuada dolor in fringilla. Aenean volutpat nunc quis libero dictum dapibus. Vivamus tristique eros eget velit malesuada rhoncus sed auctor tellus.

Quisque ac nibh leo. Vivamus quis arcu vitae nibh feugiat auctor a sit amet velit. Maecenas posuere tempor vehicula. Suspendisse tincidunt nunc a bibendum …

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople
03/09/2014
Church Survey from 7 years ago.

Overview

1. Exploring God. Attending Church but not saved yet. Fellowship
T-the cross divides here...

2. Beginning in God. Relationship.

3. Close to God. Discipleship.

4. God Centered. Lordship.

Mark 4

Seed fell on four groups.



Levels of Friendship

1. Don't talk
 - Its not works.
 - ?
 - Free Gift .

Grace

2. Became Friends

God's Word

3. Talk Often. Best Friends

Giving


4. Committed into death.





Note*
What if you take what you HATE to do and use it as a chance to do what you LOVE to do???



The W Story Structure - 4 Sequence Story Structure

Out of everything I've ever read on story structure for fiction writing, the W-Story Structure makes the most sense to me. If you'd rather view these as Acts (3-Act or 4-Act) you can overlay that on this W and it still works.



Glen C. Strathy writes (in much more detail here) in his article, The W-Plot vs. The Dramatica Model of Story Structure. There are four sequences for most stories. Each of the four legs of the W is comprised of a sequence of events that lead the story along to it's natural conclusion.

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)Sequence 2: recovering from the problem (new ideas, positive momentum)Sequence 3: deepening of the problemSequence 4: the resolution of the problem (new light or understanding)

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)
The Inciting Event (the event that is at the heart of the reason this story happened) may have occurred before your story begins, and often does. In King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017), th…

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe: Here's what happened...

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe died this morning (06/25/2018) at approximately 2:45 am PST. For update see
http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-and-baby-wolfe.html?m=1

The following is meant to answer some basic questions that everyone's asking me. I'd rather send a link then type or talk it out over and over. I'll add more memories and things later as I recall or rediscover. It's a little cathartic for me, to be able to get it out of my head anyway.

The background leading up to this morning:


On May 24, 2018, I got a text with a picture of a positive pregnancy test followed by "So... Boy, girl, twins?"We made appointments, got excited. Flavia was overweight but in generally good health otherwise, so-say-the-tests. However, the pregnancy hit her hard and fast. She said within a month of that test she was feeling like she did when she was six-months pregnant.06/06/2018: She took the boys to get Fro-Yo, it was nice outside, they decided to walk a…

FICO

$ 14  FICO
W hat is a FICO score? Many people want to know what a FICO score is. FICO stands for the Fair Isaac Corporation, founded in 1956 and in 2009 renamed: FICO. This is the one company that has more control over your interest rates and loan approvals than any other. They review your credit reports and create a score based on the information found there.
            The formula that determines that score is TOP SECRET. The banks don't even know it. We do know a few things about the score though.  The Credit Scores can vary from 300 to 850, recently information has come out that it may go into the 900's now. A “Good Score” is hard to determine because different lenders have different cut off marks. According to Wikipedia the average marker in the USA is about 640.[1]This score is about the breaking point between bad and good. Typically, though, banks are looking for scores in the 700’s
~DSR or DTI~             The better your score the better the interest rate and the higher th…

Archive

Show more

Other sites I follow: