Skip to main content

DISCLOSURES - Cookies

DISCLOSURES


This site uses cookies, mostly through Google's Blogger policy.


Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Dishes make my want to cry or scream, depending on the day.


I can tell my emotional state by looking at the sink.


In my home, we've decided the dishes and trash fall under my domain. These are my contribution to the household. I feel better if I do them at night before bed, and wake up to a clean kitchen.

Sometimes, many times, when get home from work and I look at the sink I feel an overwhelming flood of emotion. I don't know what this emotion is. It comes out as anger, but anger is almost always not a root emotion. Anger is usually a reaction to another emotion you don't want to experience or admit.

The task stands before me, it seems daunting, and the only word I that comes to mind is "overwhelming". It's as though the sink is about to swallow me. I often want to sit on the ground in the kitchen, and cry. But since I haven't really cried since I was a teenager, I just stare at it. I either shut down entirely, blank-emotional state, or I get angry.

I might try to blame my anger on my wife and kids: "Why do you just pile all this crap up in here?" But that's not really it. I'm not mad at them. I'm mad at my own inability to process simple emotions, to the point that dishes make me want to lay down and die.

In his book "The Mars and Venus Diet and Exercise Solution", John Gray discusses the differences between male and female brain chemistry. He described most of my problems with emotional state in terms of brain science and chemical imbalance, and it was remarkable how accurate it was.

Neurotransmitters, Serotonin and Dopamine, react differently in men and women.

Women tend to be more naturally Serotonin deficient. This leads to less feelings of wellbeing or peace or optimism. Connection with other people, helps the body produce higher levels of this chemical; hence the need for women to connect and talk more often.

Meanwhile, men tend to be more naturally Dopamine deficient. John Gray describes on his blog, "Dopamine is the brain chemical that gives us pleasure, increases our focus and makes us feel good". Without this chemical, the male cannot focus or feel good.

Men wake up in the morning with a finite amount of this Dopamine chemical. They go into the day, and use this as they perform decision making, or focus, tasks. When they come home, they have depleted this chemical, and tend to be "lazy" in mind and body. Talking requires focus and drains this chemical, so they don't want to talk, which the wife needs to refill her Serotonin. This creates a negative spiral of "I need what you don't have to get what I don't have".

Tasks help create more Dopamine. So this dis-engaged male, can go into task mode and come 'alive' again, as this helps to produce more of the needed chemical. This explains why I often feel better if I can push though my overwhelming feeling, and start doing the dishes as a "task". It helps to temporarily re-charge my tank.


Sometimes I just can't get past it. I need to shut down, either through sleep, or mindless scrolling through feeds.

So... that's interesting.

Darrell

Comments

Reading List








DISCLOSURES

DISCLOSURES

Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Sign Up

Consider Supporting This Site: Become a Patron! Sign Up so you don't miss a post:

Special Delivery

* indicates required

View previous campaigns.

Powered by MailChimp

Darrell's Reading List


Here are some books I've been reading lately:
  • Hacker: The Outlaw Chronicles (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). The story of a young Hacker girl, who went on a wild adventure into the supernatural realm beyond trying to save her mom, but saved her self too in the process.
  • Saint: A Paradise Novel (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). He's an assassin, or is he? He finds a secret to his past that unlocks supernatural abilities, at a cost.
  • For a full list of all my book suggestions, see my Amazon Store.

Popular posts from this blog

The W Story Structure - 4 Sequence Story Structure

Out of everything I've ever read on story structure for fiction writing, the W-Story Structure makes the most sense to me. If you'd rather view these as Acts (3-Act or 4-Act) you can overlay that on this W and it still works.



Glen C. Strathy writes (in much more detail here) in his article, The W-Plot vs. The Dramatica Model of Story Structure. There are four sequences for most stories. Each of the four legs of the W is comprised of a sequence of events that lead the story along to it's natural conclusion.

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)Sequence 2: recovering from the problem (new ideas, positive momentum)Sequence 3: deepening of the problemSequence 4: the resolution of the problem (new light or understanding)

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)
The Inciting Event (the event that is at the heart of the reason this story happened) may have occurred before your story begins, and often does. In King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017), th…

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople
03/09/2014
Church Survey from 7 years ago.

Overview

1. Exploring God. Attending Church but not saved yet. Fellowship
T-the cross divides here...

2. Beginning in God. Relationship.

3. Close to God. Discipleship.

4. God Centered. Lordship.

Mark 4

Seed fell on four groups.



Levels of Friendship

1. Don't talk
 - Its not works.
 - ?
 - Free Gift .

Grace

2. Became Friends

God's Word

3. Talk Often. Best Friends

Giving


4. Committed into death.





Note*
What if you take what you HATE to do and use it as a chance to do what you LOVE to do???



A Memorial Message of Hope

My wife, Flavia Antoinette Wolfe, passed into Glory on 06/25/2018. This is the message/word God gave me.Dealing with Tragedy
When tragedy strikes, we often compelled to ask questions and express doubts:
• Why?
• What if… a thousand what-ifs…
• If only…
• I should have/shouldn't have
• Can God really be good?
• Can the Bible really be true?

The answer to why is simple, hard, and totally unsatisfying: This World Is Broken. 

Sin entered the world, and through sin, death. BUT, God. So many powerful stories have a "but God" moment. Jesus came, he conquered death, and through him, our sorrow is lessened, and a drop of joy lies underneath.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 New King James Version (NKJV)

You WILL have tribulation. That's just as much a promise as anything else in the bible. Trouble is here on this planet for all of us because of…

No Hiding... My Story

Why am I writing my story? So... here's the thing. The Pure Desire, Seven Pillars workbook asks me to write an addiction story. When I was __ this happened. Then this happened. Timeline style.

The workbook and videos also break down the limbic system, and how desires, fears, and auto-responses were mostly created early, before 6 years old, give or take.

I've been thinking about my history and timeline for years, wondering why I am the way I am. So this sounds like promising homework. I started in on paper, but the deep level I want to travel will take more space. I plan to outline every relevant (or possibly relevant) moment.

Also, I'm inspired to start again because of a KPBS special "Meet the Patels", in which Ravi Patel (as shown through the lens of his sister's (Geeta Patel's - Film Maker) camera. It's a long story, worth seeing. It showed the struggles of American dating vs the arranged or partially-arranged type marriage systems their culture us…

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe) - Memorial Information Page

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe, nickname "Blueberry") passed away on 06/25/2018. gofundme.com/flaviawolfememorial 



Links and Contact:

Honestly, Facebook and Facebook Messenger are the best places to reach Darrell.
Darrell's Facebook Page(s) Self & JointFacebook Messenger: @darrellandflaviawolfeme@darrellwolfe.comMobile: 208-907-1617Flavia's Facebook PageHer Art Page: Creatively Unique ArtistExplanation of What HappenedGoFundMe Link: gofundme.com/flaviawolfememorial Memorial Photo AlbumMemorial Slide Show or on YouTube HereGood Grief Resources:Memorial Message of Hope (written)Jesse Duplantis: CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE GOD KINDYouTube: Good Grief Playlist
What Happened?

For detail on what happened, click here.

If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-heres-what.html

Shared Photo Album:

I created a Google Photos album, ! Flavia Wolfe (link here), so that I could share photos of her. …

Other sites I follow: