Skip to main content

So today was nice?


I woke up late with no where to go, and nothing to do. I think some people call that sleeping in on a Saturday.


My head didn't hurt as much as it usually does. So that was nice.

By about 3pm ish, I actually left the house for a while. Went to Walmart, Sonic, Wendy's and In-n-Out.

It was really nice outside. Cool enough not to feel hot, but warm enough for a t-shirt, breeze outside, 70's?


I did not feel especially down, or moody.


I did the dishes. Several days worth. That took an hour and half. But my wife baked angel food cake, and macerated strawberries for strawberry shortcake. So have two sinks full of dishes again tomorrow, but the desert was lovely.

Other than the errand, and doing dishes, we basically watched Gilmore Girl's re-runs all day. I forgot how much I REALLY enjoyed that show. The wry wit, and comic timing are impeccable, it's so hard to find great writing, directing, and acting like that. Punchy.





Yet... I left the day with the usual empty feeling.



Like there's something I should have been doing (for years now) that would have made me the successful person I think I should be, but I'm too lazy so here I am.

I have 148 IQ, which is officially over the line for Genius. I have the typical low EQ to match. I am a text book genius, so gifted I could be anything, so gifted I'm too distracted to do anything, so I'm working for peanuts at for a corporation that pays OK, but still too broke to get fast food without checking the budget first.

As usual, I can see every disaster before it hits, but no one that needs to listen to me will, and no one that does listen to me can do anything, and the disaster hits, and I just watch. I could have prevented it, but they wouldn't let me. It's like watching an accident in slow motions months in advance, and then watching again in real time right in front of you. You feel like you could have stopped it, but then you realize you couldn't, because you are invisible.

Election season is worse, because I watch mass amounts of people voting for a man like Trump, which anyone with a brain can tell is an empty shell with no brain of his own... yet the uneducated, unthinking masses go for him in droves. What good does it do to be smarter than most humans? So you can see them destroy themselves, and you with them, and unlike them you see it coming? At least they get to enjoy the stupidity for a moment. It's like watching a train coming at you, and being unable to move.

I have this constant sinking feeling that if I applied just HALF of my mental capacity I could be independently wealthy by any standard right now. I could be discussing my intellectual property rights, and stock and property portfolios... not worried about whether I should get the $3 cheeseburger, because the one I really want is $5.


And yet... even as I sit here...


I am instantly full of "ideas" about what I could be doing to produce passive income, and lacking any motivation to actually do any of them. So I'm sitting here writing this.

At least if I was writing for a Niche Website, or working on my novel I would feel like I could pretend I was working on/towards something. But I'm not. I'm 35.5 years old right now, and my expectation for anything greater than this slips a little further away every year.

I had a niche website that was promising, I could have made something with it, and I didn't even write on it more than one day all year in 2015. So I just let the domain name expire. Who cares. What's the point.



So here I sit again. It's late.



I don't want to go to bed, because I'll wake up and it'll be tomorrow, and then it will be another night, and them Monday will come and I'll start all over.

I'm on a merry go round that hasn't stopped my entire life, and the music sucks.

I think I'll go try out that prayer chair thing again, then go to bed, I guess.




Darrell

Comments

Connect With Me

Popular posts from this blog

It's a new season...

I just read a Facebook post from a friend/close acquaintance I know who was just laid off from a place I wanted to work at one time. It reminded me of my current season here...

I came to North Idaho with plans.... and they haven't worked out the way I intended. I'm not living where I thought I'd live, working where I thought I'd work, or doing the things I thought I'd be doing.

This season feels like a microcosm of my life... I'm not where I thought I'd be by now. I'm having trouble coming up with the motivation to do the things I maybe ought to be doing.

*Shhhh... Do you feel that? That wind gently blowing through the trees, down the hills, brushing your shoulders...

It's a new season! It's a fresh anointing.... it's coming your way.

The past doesn't matter. Not ten years ago, ten months ago, or ten minutes ago. God is always ready, ever ready, to do a new thing. He does best with participating people.

If you are feeling like I am, it…

White Noise - Distortion - Grounded Cafe - Re-Write #3

*White Noise - Distortion - Grounded Cafe - Re-Write #3

***
Grounded Cafe
Through the window of the Grounded Cafe, Ash noticed two men dressed in all black duck behind a blue minivan. Ice ran down his spine. His right arm shot to the Glock 9mm at his side. Sucking a breath he took a second look—  They were gone. Black mist poured out from under the minivan and evaporated into the early morning air.

He shook his head, closed his eyes. Counting to ten, silently, Ash released the grip on his sidearm, which he now realized was a tape measure and not a Glock. Ash hadn’t had a right to carry a weapon since he left the service. He let his arm fall to his side. Reality settled back onto his shoulders.

A college age girl walked by just outside the window, head buried in her smartphone. She bumped into Chester, the town’s crazy old homeless man who was headed the other direction. She didn’t even notice. He gave her a dirty looked and kept walking the other way. She sat down at a table just outs…

Simply Grateful: It's more blessed to give than receive... So be humble and let someone give to you.

Receiving gifts is hard for me... 
Yesterday was orientation and today was my first day at a new job location. They prepared a gift bag full of fun treats and a hand-made card:


I mentioned Pokemon during the interview and they took note of it. Remembered it. Then used it to personalize my card.

Amazing! Stellar Service! Totally blown away.

Inside, though, part of me also took it for granted. Anytime I'm the center of attention I run from it as fast as I can. So I left shortly after and went back to my office to train on the computer.

The whole way back to the desk there was this inner voice saying:

"Aww... that's just what companies do for new hires... you're not that special. Don't let it get to your head..."

News Flash, ladies and gentlemen, that is false humility. It's actually serving to lessen the gift by a refusal to be simply grateful.

I can give and give and give and expect nothing in return, that's second nature to me; however, I have a hard t…

An eye on eternity...

Heart of the City Church

Church Notes from April 29, 2017
Living Life in the Light of Eternity: http://bible.com/events/210278
Guest speaker: Pastor Bob Johnson & his lovely wife, Cindy, with us this weekend from New City Church in Great Falls, Montana!
See Message Here



*These are my notes from church today using the YouVersion live app:

II Corinthians 4:5-16 NKJV For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus’ sake. For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus …

Change: It's harder than you thought and better than you imagined

I'm at the tail end of an end and the head of a beginning.

After 7 years in Nort Texas (Fort Worth), we moved. We spent the last few months getting the house ready to sell, selling the house, and moving. A week (03/19 - 03/24) was spent on the road and since then we lived in a hotel until we could find a place to live.

On Friday (03/31/17), we moved into our new house (rental). We're still unpacking, building storage shelves, figuring out to live with a basement for washer/dryer (odd).

We just found a store (EntertainmentMart) that sells games, Pokemon cards, and more. They allow the kids and adults to come play against each other live every Monday and Wed. So the kids are now adjusting.

There are things I already really enjoy about North Idaho... some of the transitions were easier than others.

Some things didn't go the way I wanted and some things went better. I just needed to learn to flow, slow down, breath, and listen... it's always about listening to the Holy Sp…

FICO Credit Scores | Everything you need to know & one easy way to build credit without paying interest!

Want to build credit without paying hundreds of dollars in interest? Find out in this article.

Credit Building Myths

So, I'm hearing a lot of people say things that are just not true, don't make sense, or are just plain bad advice, when it comes to building credit.

Credit building is not rocket science. 
It's true that the math formulas behind the scores are actually akin to rocket science math... But some of the basic things the average person needs to know are actually quite simple.

If you want to build credit without paying interest or creating debt read on, or just skip to the bottom to the conclusion. 
I'm sure you've seen this funny commercial:




I wrote a post previously about FICO and Lending Decisions, to tell you how the banks makes the decision to approve or decline your application.

Now I want to bring in the focus a little to some Credit Building basics. The score isn't the only factor used in lending decision, but it's a big one.


What is a FICO credit sc…

Logos, JPG's and More

The best Subheader EVER!
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Pellentesque elementum at nibh vel placerat. Curabitur id efficitur dolor. Cras ac nulla elementum, laoreet erat ultrices, hendrerit magna. Duis vestibulum vulputate arcu accumsan consequat. Praesent ornare porta tellus, mollis ultrices ante euismod ut. Cras at augue ac est lacinia laoreet. Cras posuere auctor magna ac auctor. Suspendisse rutrum odio non placerat dictum. 
The best Minor Header EVER! Maecenas mattis ornare urna. In hendrerit lacus ac porta molestie. Etiam hendrerit sem et ante egestas, et imperdiet magna efficitur. Maecenas auctor orci lacus, eu porttitor tortor dictum sit amet. Nam rutrum malesuada dolor in fringilla. Aenean volutpat nunc quis libero dictum dapibus. Vivamus tristique eros eget velit malesuada rhoncus sed auctor tellus.

Quisque ac nibh leo. Vivamus quis arcu vitae nibh feugiat auctor a sit amet velit. Maecenas posuere tempor vehicula. Suspendisse tincidunt nunc a bibendum …

DNA Of The Heart | Church Notes

Heart Of The City Church May 6, 2017

DNA Of The Heart: http://bible.com/events/213349

==================================== Local churches mentioned in the Bible:

Antioch, Pisidia: Acts 13:14; Gal 1:2 Antioch, Syria: Acts 11:26 (Paul's home base) Athens: Acts 17:34 Babylon: 1 Peter 5:13; Acts 2:9 Berea: Acts 17:11 Caesarea: Acts 10:1,48 Cenchrea: Rom 16:1 Colossae: Col 1:2 Corinth: Acts 18:1 Crete: Titus 1:5 Cyrene: Acts 11:20 Damascus: Acts 9:19 Derbe: Acts 14:20; Gal 1:2 Ephesus: Acts 18:19 Hierapolis Col 4:13 Iconium: Acts 14:1; Gal 1:2 Jerusalem: Acts 2:5 Joppa: Acts 9:36, 38 Laodicea: Rev 1:11, Col 4:15 Lydda: Acts 9:32 Lystra: Acts 14:6; Gal 1:2 Pergamum: Rev 1:11 Philadelphia: Rev 1:11 Philippi: Acts 16:12 Puteoli, Italy: Acts 28:13-14 Rome: Rom 1:7 Sardis: Rev 1:11 Sharon: Acts 9:35 Smyrna: Rev 1:11 Tarsus: Acts 9:30 Thessalonica: Acts 17:1 Thyatira: Rev 1:11; Acts 16:14 Troas: Acts 20:6-7 

House Of Grace --------------------------- You want grace extended to you? Extend gra…

What is a Topos? A strategic position of opportunity and influence

What does Topos mean?Topos is a Greek word meaning: "Place, or Opportunity"
Properly:Any portion of space marked off, as it were, from surrounding, space Metaphorically: The condition or station held by one in any company or assemblyopportunity, power, occasion for actingA spot (general in space, but limited by occupancy; whereas chora is a large but participle locality). As used by me: Topos is a strategic position of opportunity and influence
Topos: Your Calling Everyone has a God given calling on this earth. There is something you were created and designed to do. What you are doing now may be "The Calling"; or, it may be the calling for this season of your life. Either way, you are either in your Topos, or you need to find it.

As you read the stories of biblical heros like Noah, Abraham, Joseph, Moses, David, Nehemiah, Peter, and Paul... etc... you find that God put them in the right place to do the right thing at the right time.

They ended up in their Topos, …

About Me

My photo

Hi! My name is Darrell G. Wolfe. I am a wealth of random information and I make complicated things simple at DarrellWolfe.com.

I have a knack for absorbing information, breaking it down to its root elements, and teaching it to others.

Most importantly, I help purpose-driven people to understand their place in His-Story and provide them the tools they need to fulfill their unique position of opportunity and influence in this world (their Topos).