When I thought about my mood lately... the words Malaise and Listless came to mind. So I looked them up:
NOUN :: a general feeling of discomfort, illness, or uneasiness whose exact cause is difficult to identify:
Malaise is a non-specific symptom and can present in the slightest ailment, such as an emotion (causing fainting, a vasovagal response) or hunger (light hypoglycemia), to the most serious conditions (cancer, stroke, heart attack, internal bleeding, etc.).
Malaise expresses a patient's uneasiness that "something is not right" that may need a medical examination to determine the significance.
ADJECTIVE :: (of a person or their manner) lacking energy or enthusiasm: "bouts of listless depression"
having or showing little or no interest in anything; languid; spiritless; indifferent: a listless mood; a listless handshake.
LIST'LESS, a. Not listening; not attending; indifferent to what is passing; heedless; inattentive; thoughtless; careless; as a listless hearer or spectator.
|directionless I have no direction. By Graeme Maclean|
I think of the phrase "the ship is listing to the right"... meaning that the direction the ship is taking toward the right is a meandering unintentional wondering to the right.
Leaning if you will.
The Captain did not steer that direction, the ship just leaned that way.
Imagine you walked down the sidewalk blindfolded, and you gradually walked more and more to the right until you stepped off the curb into the street.
"Mal" bad or evil... Malaise... Ill feeling... or a general feeling of discomfort whose exact cause is difficult to identify.
I think the text lingo would be "Meh".
Why is life stacked against us? Because we have an enemy.
Did God give us the tools (prayer, his word, his blood, his Spirit, his power) to fight the enemy? Yes He did.
Does that fight take sacrifice (being selfless, getting up early to pray before the day starts, putting aside your feelings and doing what's right for others, etc)? Yes.
Is that hard work? You Bet!
Is it worth it? I guess so...
And.... therein lies the problem. I know all the right answers... but if I don't feel that it's worth it... I don't do all that.
Maybe I'm still too worked up into "works"; those things are not what we do to GET victory, those are the things we do when we realize we already have victory.
Sounds good on paper... doesn't make me feel better.
Time to go to church...