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DISCLOSURES

Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Eradicate the word "had" from your writing.


I have been writing for years, first as a hobbiest with passing intrest, then semi-professionally as a blogger, then professionally as a Complaints Reporter and Letter Writers, and now as Technical Writer working on Policy & Procedure (P&P). In that time, I've had the opportunity to edit other's work even more often than my own.

Had is an easy way to clean up your manuscript

Among the most common pitfalls I've seen, in both Nonfiction and Fiction writing, is the word "HAD". You can almost always simply delete it, and it the sentence will not only remain fully intact, but the meaning will be clearer.

I notice it in my writing, in my Letter Writers, and I've seen it three times today in other authors at Scribophile. Below are the works I critiqued/edited today.

Both are examples of good storytelling and world building. Both have edit issues to work out to be ready for publishing.

Both are examples of how incomplete craft (my own included) can be overcoming by a darn good story... and how perfecting the craft makes them that much better.

I'll just pull out just a few instances of "had" from each for this post, and offer my own potential edits for them.

Examples of "had"


Faiths Odium, Chapter 4: The Fat Shepherd

  • The king had used taxes to set up shelters for the homeless within the city
  • The king used taxes to set up shelters for the homeless within the city
  • In truth he had always rooted for the underdog and the hopeless.
  • In truth he always rooted for the underdog and the hopeless.
  • The disgruntled wench had a look of scorn, but offered up the axe regardless. 
  • The disgruntled wench scowled, but offered up the axe. 
  • In this instance, had is appropriately used: "Rynarr could see his tongue had been partially removed, a common punishment for speaking out of turn, probably ordered by a lord that thought himself above the law."


Fenilia, Chapter 12: Chapter Twelve.

  • A blade had materialised in N’s hand before the dagger had even touched the stone. 
  • A blade materialised in N’s hand before the dagger even touched the stone. 
  • Jason had said moments before.
  • Jason said moments before.
  • Jade had not realised, but there were various paths leading this way and that between them and the trapdoor they had so unwittingly come through.
  • Jade did not recognize the paths leading back to the trapdoor they unwittingly came through on their way in.
  • In this instance, had is appropriately used: She had no choice but to increase the pace of her shuffling, whilst still making sure not to fall over.


Distortion

In my own first novel (posted on Wattpad) I found several instances in the first chapter:


  • The leaves had begun to fall, most had turned shades of orange and yellow, matching perfectly the Pumpkins that had been dotting porches and windows through the city the past few weeks.
  • The leaves began to fall, most already turning shades of orange and yellow, matching perfectly the Pumpkins that were dotting porches and windows throughout the city the past few weeks.

I hope that gives you some ideas. Look for other words you use frequently in a word count search. See if you can elimante these in your next re-write.

By Darrell Wolfe

Storyteller | Creative | INFJ | Intellection | Ideation | Input | Learner | Achiever | Multipotentialite

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    DISCLOSURES

    DISCLOSURES

    Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

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    Darrell's Reading List


    Here are some books I've been reading lately:
    • Hacker: The Outlaw Chronicles (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). The story of a young Hacker girl, who went on a wild adventure into the supernatural realm beyond trying to save her mom, but saved her self too in the process.
    • Saint: A Paradise Novel (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). He's an assassin, or is he? He finds a secret to his past that unlocks supernatural abilities, at a cost.
    • For a full list of all my book suggestions, see my Amazon Store.

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    Links and Contact:

    Honestly, Facebook and Facebook Messenger are the best places to reach Darrell.
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    What Happened?

    For detail on what happened, click here.

    If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

    http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-heres-what.html

    Shared Photo Album:

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    So today was nice?

    I woke up late with no where to go, and nothing to do. I think some people call that sleeping in on a Saturday.
    My head didn't hurt as much as it usually does. So that was nice.

    By about 3pm ish, I actually left the house for a while. Went to Walmart, Sonic, Wendy's and In-n-Out.

    It was really nice outside. Cool enough not to feel hot, but warm enough for a t-shirt, breeze outside, 70's?


    I did not feel especially down, or moody.


    I did the dishes. Several days worth. That took an hour and half. But my wife baked angel food cake, and macerated strawberries for strawberry shortcake. So have two sinks full of dishes again tomorrow, but the desert was lovely.

    Other than the errand, and doing dishes, we basically watched Gilmore Girl's re-runs all day. I forgot how much I REALLY enjoyed that show. The wry wit, and comic timing are impeccable, it's so hard to find great writing, directing, and acting like that. Punchy.





    Yet... I left the day with the usual empty feeling.



    Like the…

    A little ditty I was singing in the kitchen...

    I can't recall the words to...

    This song that's stuck in my head...

    I must know the words, to this stupid song, or I can't go to bed...

    It's the Circle of Life...

    Oh yeah, that's right, the Lion King...

    It's Elton John... At the height of his career...

    Good Night!


    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe) Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com


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