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Provider My Ass... Part One My Question

Dear God,

You want open an honest? Here it is.

You suck as a provider. I've worked my ass off, two jobs for along time, then 55-hour weeks for years. I couldn't "afford" to take Paid Time Off (PTO) because it would eat into overtime. If I worked more than 40 but less than 50, that money-suck you gave me (family, house, cars, etc.) would cry out for more like a monetary black hole.

We've never made ends meet. We were always short, something always went a month or two behind. We caught up, barely, with tax returns and windfalls just to get behind again.

We cut everything out, all expendable expenses. We don't pay for cell phones, cable, any of it. We're still always broke. You're not my provider. You may be someone else's, but you haven't been mine.

I'm tired, I'm broken, you suck! I'm just about threw with you... I'm ready to throw it all away and go live for the Devil. At least he pays his people.

Darrell








Distortion - Street Noise - Scene One Rewrite - In Progress...

A man in black rushed behind a gray Chevy Suburban across the street. Theron "Ash" Ashland spotted him through the window of The Grounded Café while waiting for his morning Java Chip Frappe'. Wait, was he wearing combat gear?
Ice-shards tore down his spine, his heart skipped a beat. The muscles in his right arm tensed as he reached for the Glock 9mm holstered on his side. Huh? He shook his head, on second glance the man was gone, a cloud of charcoal dust whisping into the air from under the SUV.
A breath slowly escaped his lungs, Ash released his grip on what he originally thought was his Glock 9mm, but he now realized was a holstered steel tape measure. He wasn't licensed to carry anymore, so he typically didn't. He let his arm slowly lower to his side as he closed his eyes. Deliberately inhaling slowly, silently counting to ten, . The scents of blonde roast and espresso filled his mind and centered him.
Eight years away from any war zone and apparitions still haun…

Distortion - Street Noise - Scene One Rewrite (Edited 10/08/16)

A man in black disappeared behind a gray Chevy Suburban across the street. Ash spotted him through the window of The Grounded Café while waiting for his morning Java Chip Frappe'. Wait, was he wearing combat gear?
Ice shards tore down his spine, his heart skipped a beat. The muscles in his right arm tensed as he reached for the Glock 9mm holstered on his side. He shook his head, on second glance the man was gone, a cloud of charcoal dust whisping into the air from under the SUV. A breath slowly escaped his lungs, Ash released his grip on what he originally thought was his Glock 9mm, but he now realized was a holstered steel tape measure. He wasn't licensed to carry anymore, so he typically didn't. He let his arm slowly lower to his side as he closed his eyes. Taking a deliberately slow breath, he inhaled counting to ten, silently. The scents of blonde roast and espresso filled his mind and centered him. Even after eight years, war long over, he still could not trust what he f…

Addiction sucks - Dr. Pepper is just as dangerous as alcohol

Addiction sucks because of what it's a fight with your own body and mind. The substance of your addiction is irrelevant - the behavior patterns/thought patterns are the same. I've gone through the same patterns with Dr. Pepper as I ever did with Alcohol, Pornography, PillPopping...

I had one guy in an online AA meeting try to tell me it was rude to compare Dr. Pepper or Chocolate to more serious addictions.As I see it, it's just as dangerous.

Some of the things I've done for Dr. Pepper:

Tend to dangerous excess -  I'm an addict by personality. I tend toward excess in everything I do. I once had such a craving for Dr. Pepper that I bought a 36 pack on a Sunday afternoon and with the exception of 5-6 to the family drank 30 between Sunday evening and Thursday morning. I had an onset of gout by Friday that lasted two weeks. That was one incident. What if I did those same things over and over and died by 38? Would that be any less dangerous that Alcohol?

Hiding the purchase

Darrell's Reading List


Here are some books I've been reading lately:
  • Hacker: The Outlaw Chronicles (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). The story of a young Hacker girl, who went on a wild adventure into the supernatural realm beyond trying to save her mom, but saved her self too in the process.
  • Saint: A Paradise Novel (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). He's an assassin, or is he? He finds a secret to his past that unlocks supernatural abilities, at a cost.
  • For a full list of all my book suggestions, see my Amazon Store.

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