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Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Embracing Grief - The process God gave you to heal

The following was a question from a Widow/Widower support group I belong to:

What is the most important thing you've learned about grief?


My Answer:

Grief is a process to be embraced and walked through. 

Your physical brain has developed protein structures (memories and muscle memories) that tell your body to react in a certain way.

These structures tell the leg to move when walking and they tell the body and mind to be a certain way at home with your spouse, certain expected norms.

Just as when a Vet loses a limb, a widow(er) loses something much more profound, their other half.

The new treatment for those who lose limbs is to activate the new nerve endings by rubbing them frequently with various materials (hard, soft, scratchy, smooth, hot, cold) so the brain can learn the new nerve endings. This helps alleviate "Phantom Limb Syndrome".

God gave us Widows(ers) the gift of Grief to help us recognize and process these protein structures in the brain as they relate to our late spouse. They are gone. Grief helps us come to terms with that and then continue to live a God-given fulfilling life.

This only works when we embrace the grief process, instead of burying and ignoring the process.

That's been the more precious, if not hardest, lesson I've learned.



Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



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DISCLOSURES

DISCLOSURES

Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

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Darrell's Reading List


Here are some books I've been reading lately:
  • Hacker: The Outlaw Chronicles (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). The story of a young Hacker girl, who went on a wild adventure into the supernatural realm beyond trying to save her mom, but saved her self too in the process.
  • Saint: A Paradise Novel (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). He's an assassin, or is he? He finds a secret to his past that unlocks supernatural abilities, at a cost.
  • For a full list of all my book suggestions, see my Amazon Store.

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Church Notes @Gatewaypeople

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople
03/09/2014
Church Survey from 7 years ago.

Overview

1. Exploring God. Attending Church but not saved yet. Fellowship
T-the cross divides here...

2. Beginning in God. Relationship.

3. Close to God. Discipleship.

4. God Centered. Lordship.

Mark 4

Seed fell on four groups.



Levels of Friendship

1. Don't talk
 - Its not works.
 - ?
 - Free Gift .

Grace

2. Became Friends

God's Word

3. Talk Often. Best Friends

Giving


4. Committed into death.





Note*
What if you take what you HATE to do and use it as a chance to do what you LOVE to do???



Fatalism: When bad things happen

Fatalism is not the answer!

I've had no less than four or five conversations around this general topic recently, so I decided to say something about it. Although I have several friends I want to say this to, the primary audience for this speech today is me. I spent all of yesterday in a fatalistic funk. Today, I'm choosing to make a new choice.

You are not living the life you live because of fate. Period. 

God. The Stars. Fate. They did not create the hardships you face today. There were some factors outside of you that contributed, often in major ways. But you ultimately choose how you will respond from today forward, not Fate.
Fatalism: a doctrine that events are fixed in advance so that human beings are powerless to change them. Websters Fatalism is exactly the opposite of Truth. God empowers you, he does not disempower you. If you believe you are the way you are, living the life you live, because of Fate, you are believing a LIE of Satan. That lie is keeping you bound inste…

The W Story Structure - 4 Sequence Story Structure

Out of everything I've ever read on story structure for fiction writing, the W-Story Structure makes the most sense to me. If you'd rather view these as Acts (3-Act or 4-Act) you can overlay that on this W and it still works.



Glen C. Strathy writes (in much more detail here) in his article, The W-Plot vs. The Dramatica Model of Story Structure. There are four sequences for most stories. Each of the four legs of the W is comprised of a sequence of events that lead the story along to it's natural conclusion.

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)Sequence 2: recovering from the problem (new ideas, positive momentum)Sequence 3: deepening of the problemSequence 4: the resolution of the problem (new light or understanding)

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)
The Inciting Event (the event that is at the heart of the reason this story happened) may have occurred before your story begins, and often does. In King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017), th…

No Hiding... My Story

Why am I writing my story? So... here's the thing. The Pure Desire, Seven Pillars workbook asks me to write an addiction story. When I was __ this happened. Then this happened. Timeline style.

The workbook and videos also break down the limbic system, and how desires, fears, and auto-responses were mostly created early, before 6 years old, give or take.

I've been thinking about my history and timeline for years, wondering why I am the way I am. So this sounds like promising homework. I started in on paper, but the deep level I want to travel will take more space. I plan to outline every relevant (or possibly relevant) moment.

Also, I'm inspired to start again because of a KPBS special "Meet the Patels", in which Ravi Patel (as shown through the lens of his sister's (Geeta Patel's - Film Maker) camera. It's a long story, worth seeing. It showed the struggles of American dating vs the arranged or partially-arranged type marriage systems their culture us…

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe: Here's what happened...

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe died this morning (06/25/2018) at approximately 2:45 am PST. For update see
http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-and-baby-wolfe.html?m=1

The following is meant to answer some basic questions that everyone's asking me. I'd rather send a link then type or talk it out over and over. I'll add more memories and things later as I recall or rediscover. It's a little cathartic for me, to be able to get it out of my head anyway.

The background leading up to this morning:


On May 24, 2018, I got a text with a picture of a positive pregnancy test followed by "So... Boy, girl, twins?"We made appointments, got excited. Flavia was overweight but in generally good health otherwise, so-say-the-tests. However, the pregnancy hit her hard and fast. She said within a month of that test she was feeling like she did when she was six-months pregnant.06/06/2018: She took the boys to get Fro-Yo, it was nice outside, they decided to walk a…

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