Expendable

Black Suit, real name unknown

• Alias: Thaddeus J. B. Rotcudnoc
• Alias:
• Alias:
• Alias:

Motivation: Power/Control, to be the apex of every triangle, and the conductor of every interaction.

Thaddeus abhors social inventions. He is a trillion-aire+++. His net personal (non-corporate) net worth is equal, at least, to the annual GDP of North America combined.

He needs to be in control of all things at all times. Money is not a motivation, it is a tool used to achieve that control. He owns half the US Senators, and blackmails another 1/4 of them. He considers Warren Buffet a small time nuisance, and sometimes an unwitting participant in his schemes.

Real power is wielded secretly, quietly, and firmly. He never uses his real name, he's not even sure if he can remember his real name.

Today he's decided to be known as Thaddeus.

 -----------------------------------

Thaddeus Point Of View

Thaddeus, we cannot push him any further, he's already been in the room longer than most others, and his vitals are dangerously out of control. We must put an end to this test… or give him a rest and start again.

You Dr. Briar, like these experiments, are temporary and expendable…  you would do well to remember that.

He enjoyed seeing that look on people's face, when they first realize that they were never the one in charge or in control. When they realize that the person they thought they brought on to assist, was actually the one calling the shots. What they seldom know, and could not understand, is that they were never calling the shots. They were all part of his orchestrated plan. They were but a violin in his symphony, and easily replaceable.

Thaddeus broke his stare when his point had been thoroughly impressed on his compatriots face… I'll be in the observation lounge that I paid so much money to build. If we lose him, I will handle it. Proceed.

He stepped out of the room, and walked down the hall to the observation room. He wanted to see this for himself.  This one showed so much more promise than the others. The new candidate criteria were working out quite nicely.

************

Dr. Briar Point Of View

Thaddeus, we cannot push him any further, he's already been in the room longer than most others, and his vitals are dangerously out of control. We must put an end to this test… or give him a rest and start again.

You Dr. Briar, like these experiments, are temporary and expendable…  you would do well to remember that.

A chill crept over his spine, from his tail bone, up his neck, and into his head.. His skin became cold as the realization dawned on him… He was never the one in control. When he'd brought Thaddeus on, he'd been so hungry for the financial backing and the seeming eagerness that he showed in the project, he'd never stopped to consider that Thaddeus would take over.

…I'll be in the observation lounge that I paid so much money to build. If we lose him, I will handle it. Proceed. Thaddeus stepped out of the room, and walked down the hall.

Dr. Briar slumped into his chair with the realization… he'd sold his science, his soul, to this partnership. Without this financial backing, he'd have to pull out and stop everything. Shameful though it may be, the scientist in him was curious to see what would happen if he pushed the patient over the age.

So he turned back to the monitor, and kept one on the vitals, then turned pushed the slider one notch higher.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scene:

Dr. Briar is in the control room, watching the night vision monitor and vitals.

Thaddeus is in the observation room, watching the same monitors and vitals on a large flat screen. He's sitting in very expensive leather chairs with cup holders. The room is equipped like a studio apartment, kitchen, living room, on suite.

Ash is sitting in a dentist chair in the middle of a pitch black room, observable through night vision cameras. The room is outlined in chicken wire, and sound absorbing material lines all sides, above, and beneath. The walls, ceiling, and floor are lined with this material for a depth of 15 feet each, and backed by other layers of non-reflective material, before being enclosed in 100's of feet of concrete and plastic.

A sound box is playing inside the room; however, it is putting out frequencies above and below the human audible spectrum. Ash is unaware that any "sound" is being produced. These frequencies are known to have an effect on the body and mind, but are not detectable to the human ear, and are therefore audibly invisible. These frequencies are known to be particularly interesting for their occurrence and commonality in observable nature, and their effect on the their surroundings. Today, these are being played at various decibel levels and the frequencies themselves are being altered and fine-tuned, constantly compared to the vitals on the screens, in order to see what affects these tunings cause.

When a frequency is played through a speaker, and there is reverberation in the room (sound bouncing off of the walls) the harmonies of that frequency will also be picked up in a recording of that room. Without the reverberation effect, this room can test the single frequency and/or any variation of the harmony frequencies they wish to test.

They have discovered that the frequency ranges of 3Hz, 7 Hz, and 12Hz have produced intriguing results… others have also produces interesting results, but not always positive, usable, results.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

*******

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Unknown Antagonist

Someone is brought in by Dr. Briar to fix the project with sound and spirit world experiments. He is superior in intellect to most, he is a strong strategist, and he has motives that are not entirely purely scientific. His motives differ from Dr. Briar's in that sense. He's RICH… but so rich that making more money has no appeal to him. He'd be just as likely to drop a billion on a failing business just for the fun of turning it around as he would to just watch the money burn and spin that business wildly out of control. He's bored… he likes the power of anonymity. He made Dr. Briar think that Dr. Briar sought out his help; when in fact, he orchestrated the whole thing.

Who is this Antagonist? Does he have a name? Will we ever know it? How much mystery is good, vs how much do we need to build flesh and blood into this guy and make him more real, menacing? Then again, the unknown has it's own fear built in. 

He motivated by money, in the sense that once should have gain, value, profit of some kind of out one's expenditure of energy. That value added need not be monetary though. Power. Control. Can the other dimensions, what some call the spirit world, be accessed? Can they be manipulated? Can they be controlled? These are the real power, the real questions.

***

"Yes, Dr. Briar I am! That is why you brought me here. To fix this reject project and bring something valuable out of it. Keep me appraised of any changes."

The black suited man turned and left the room. His tuft of white hair bouncing along as he walked away.

****

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Dark Room (combined two days writting into one page. Still needs work.

After what seems 10 days, as per the marks on the box, Ash wakes to the sound of his food being delivered for breakfast. He eats in silence. He doesn't even hear the noise they've been pumping into the room for 10 days. When he is done he places his tray on the shelf and it disappears into the wall again.

*Click* The sound in the overhead turns off. The air pressure changes as a slight crake in the wall snaps open. The crack opens wider as the panel disappears into the wall and the crack becomes a doorway, which opens into a long hall. Ash makes his way down the long hall, lit with a blue tinted LED strand.

The floor is stretched chicken wire, over deep triangles of foam cut at different angles. The walls, ceiling, all made of the same substance. One chair, bolted to the floor. It looks comfortable enough. Like a dentist chair. Seeing no other option, he takes a seat.

The silence is deafening, immediately. Ash clapped his hand once, and noticed that the clap was essentially absorbed, rather than bouncing back to him. It was as though sound itself was sucked out of the room. If it were possible for sound to be less than nothing, this was it. The sound was sucked right out of him, so that all he could hear was his own heartbeat, and breathing. Even his ears began to make their own ringing. This all hit him moments after entering the room, it started subtle, and grew worse over the first moments in the room.

Cool air is keeping the room a comfortable 74*F.

The lights go out. Light was immediately absent. Completely absent. The only thing Ash could see was the flashes of white dots dancing around his eyes from having been in the light moments earlier. What utter and stark contrast to the room he was in. The sound... or lack of sound... in this room was astonishing. It was though sound itself was being sucked out. He could hear nothing but a ringing for the first few minutes. After a while, the ringing subsided and he could hear the beating of his own heart, and the sloshing of bodily fluids throughout his own body.

After the silence of 10 days in the white room, all of Ash's racing thoughts have subsided. He's moved past wondering where he is, when he'll leave, he's now just him. Alone with his thoughts. And increasingly, his past.

Eventually, after what felt like an hour, but it was probably only minutes, he found that even these sounds faded into the background of his attention. He could almost hear his own thoughts. As though that voice in his head, that was always present, telling him what to do, and where to go, and how to act, watch out for that... don't say that... oh man, why did you do that for? It was as though the inner voice became almost audible. As  though he could hear himself think. Or rather as though his thoughts could speak to him audibly. It was an odd sensation, but occupying his mind was the only thing he could do. He'd never admit it to a captor, but solitary confinement was his favorite part of being a prisoner of war. He enjoyed self-time, and silence. Accusation follows on the heels of this. Anytime he's alone, it starts. What you should have done differently.

Alone, in the dark now, with no sound of any kind, negative sound. He sits. Lays back in the reclining dentist chair, and he waits. He waits. He sleeps.

His concentration snapped into focus suddenly with the feeling that he was not alone in this room. He'd known before he entered the room that cameras were on him, and he was being observed... but that wasn't it. He felt the air in the room change, as though someone had entered the room with him. He could hear breathing in the room. He wasn't tied to the chair, he could get up, but where to? He couldn't see, he'd memorized the layout though. He knew the entrance he came from, and he didn't see any other known entry ways before the door shut out the light. Ash slowed his breathing, and observed with his four remaining senses for any clue as to the whereabouts and intention of the new participant.

***

Ash... Ash... 

He sits up. How long was he asleep? Is he asleep? How would you know in dark silence?

Ash... we know about you Ash... We know who you are... what you've done... how could you... 

Ash shakes his head... the voices vanish. What as that?

***

It's beginning... the biometrics just spiked.

Good, good... let's see how he does.

The previous test subjects had nowhere near the discipline that Mr. Ashland does. This should be an interesting observation. He's incredible. Getting a trained military man, accustomed to being alone for days and weeks, a survival expert. He is already outlasted every scientist, street volunteer, and audio geek we've ran through these tests. Many of them didn't make it through the prep room, but we've never had anyone last this long, he's been in there for three hours and just now he's starting to show signs of a dimensional tear. You are a genius!

Yes, Dr. Briar I am! That is why you brought me here. To fix this reject project and bring something valuable out of it. Keep me appraised of any changes.

The black suited man turned and left the room. His tuft of white hair bouncing along as he walked away.

***************************

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Character Sketch: Dr Richard T. Briar

Author of:  “Unlocking the Paranormal Mind. A study of how the human mind’s unlocked potential”, By Dr Richard T. Briar.

Richard Briar was a scientist, who specialized in the paranormal. His birth name was Niklaus von Klaus

He was named after the patron saint of Switzerland. Niklaus von Flue, also known as Brother Klaus, who died in 1487. Brother Klaus was known as a spiritual advisor and pastor to both rural and rich; however, was also known for heretical practices of mysticism.

Dr. Briar's mother was a mystic from Switzerland, and his father was a German scientist during WWI. Dr Niklaus von Klaus was a German Nazi scientist during WWII, who fled to Switzerland, and then to the UK, after changing his name and accent. He now operated under the alias of Dr. Richard Briar, tenured professor (retired) of Cambridge University, and founder of the Briar Psychiatric Center, Colorado Springs, CO. , dedicated to studying the farthest reaches and capabilities of the human mind.

There were exactly zero people alive who knew Dr. Briar's original identity, or the extent of his true plans.

It would be interesting to see just how far this rabbit hole would go…. What secrets the unlocking the human mind would reveal. It was necessary to operate on the fringe of the law, after all, we all know how bureaucracies hold back the spirit of innovation!

 ******

Niklaus von Flue, Nicholas of Flühe or brother Klaus (* 1417; † 21 March 1487in Flüeliat Sachselnin the canton of Obwalden) was a Swisshermit, asceticand mystic. He is the patron saint of Switzerland.

From <http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=1&hl=en&rurl=translate.google.com&sandbox=0&sl=auto&tl=en&u=http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niklaus_von_Fl%25C3%25BCe&usg=ALkJrhg49HZRF0nkWXbl5N4OPvyGPgXZBw>

On March 21, 1487 Brother Klaus died after a hard agony on the floor of his cell.

From <http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=1&hl=en&rurl=translate.google.com&sandbox=0&sl=auto&tl=en&u=http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niklaus_von_Fl%25C3%25BCe&usg=ALkJrhg49HZRF0nkWXbl5N4OPvyGPgXZBw>

Niklaus von Flue gained widely reputation as pastorand spiritual advisor, not only for the rural population, but also as a guide for foreign heads of state in Europe in the 15th century. So says a special envoy of the Duchy of Milan, in a letter to Ludovico Sforza of visits to the hermit, where he discussed political issues, and the Duke thanked in the response for its gracious greetings. [3]

Nicholas of Flue was also interested in a mystic in worldly things. He watched the political events and was asked for advice on such matters.

From <http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?depth=1&hl=en&rurl=translate.google.com&sandbox=0&sl=auto&tl=en&u=http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niklaus_von_Fl%25C3%25BCe&usg=ALkJrhg49HZRF0nkWXbl5N4OPvyGPgXZBw>

The origins of Nazism and its relation to the occult have been a part of popular culture since at least 1959. There are documentaries and books on the topic, including The Morning of the Magicians (1960) and The Spear of Destiny (1972). Historian Nicholas Goodrick-Clarke analyzed the topic in The Occult Roots of Nazism in which he argued there were links between some ideals of Ariosophy and Nazi ideology. He also analyzed the problems of the numerous popular "occult historiography" books written on the topic. He sought to separate empiricism and sociology from the "Modern Mythology of Nazi Occultism" that exist in many books which "have represented the Nazi phenomenon as the product of arcane and demonic influence". He considered most of these to be "sensational and under-researched".[1]

From <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nazism_and_occultism>

**

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Inhabitted

There was a race of beings that were inhabited by another creature. They were a semi symbiotic species. You could tell when one was speaking and when the other was. Also, there was an imitator species that would trick the people into allowing it in.

The leach promised great power but only brought a slow decay. It was a slow decay of mind as well as body. The people didn’t see it for what it was so the leach inhabited just about everybody. Only those who underwent a special and sometimes painful process could be free of the leach. The process was easy and quick, but not without Sp struggle.

Our hero finds himself in the middle of this struggle. (Is he from this planet or a visitor from outside?)

Does he travel in space? Is he a pilot? Is he lost? Does he have another gateway? Is he Mark?

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Ash White Room

Bright blinding white permeated the room. A white cardboard box sat on a thin enameled snow white plastic table in a room covered in white painted steel walls. Only the black table legs gave any accent to the hyper real characteristics of this LED lit room. How he got here and why he didn’t know. Looking down he noticed the white form fitting uniform he was wearing. His deep tan the only other contrast in this other clinically pure room. A soft hiss was coming from the ceiling, but he couldn’t look up because the ceiling was lit from end to end to end with LED’s, turned on high, air conditioner maybe. He could barely see around him without squinting. Disorientation started to settle down after the first few moments awake and he found his bearings. Training kicked in. His thoughts moved to business, take stock. “Name/Rank: Captain Therun Ashmun.”, he said out loud, more to himself than anyone else. No response. Taking inventory of his body, every part was accounted for, legs, arms, toes, fingers, the scar on his neck under his right ear. No pains, other than the usual. He sat down on his knees monk style and closed his eyes and took deep breaths. Capt Therun “Ash” Ashmun tried to recall his last memory before finding himself in this room void of any obvious doors, windows, or openings of any kind, not even a seem was apparent as he circled the room with his eyes. The thoughts came like rapid fire. He didn’t bother feeling about because he was obviously handled before arriving here and obviously must be under surveillance this very moment. No way to defend against attack without knowing where the openings are, but there would be no use because if he were going to be killed he would be in some danky prison cell not this white washed room in some overly tailored biking suit. Still, better to be defensive and keep himself against a wall ready to react. “Bring it in Ash, bring yourself together… all this white is a bit disorienting. What was the last thing you recall?” He had been on Sriklan Island a survival training facility. He had just dropped in from 15,000 feet in air-camo nearly a new suit-shoot being developed, nearly invisible from the ground and air. He landed without a hitch, taking out three guards, high tech motion sensored mannequins, from the air. Working through the forest to the hacienda he had retaken the residence and recovered the “stolen” technology and send it back up on a UAV that had landed after he signaled. Routine training mission. Next time they’d use people and fake bullets but this time real bullets and fake people provided real time use of the weapon. The fake bullets never quite felt right. One man recovery missions were a great way to have peace. He swam off island to a nearby island and was waiting for his evac. He was perched in a tall tree, hidden by branches on the tallest point of the island. There was a flash of light around him and He… that’s it, there was no other memory. He woke up here. The box on the table was the only thing in the room with him, besides the table itself, which seems to be built into the floor. He approached the table cautiously. Eyes had adjusted some to the light, but there was still not much to see. The legs and table appeared to be built of high strength alloy. No hopes of breaking it. He pushed at the box, but it too appeared to be a part of the table. It didn’t budge. Other than being attached it seemed like any other white shipping box, sealed in white duct tape end to end. The table was cool to the touch, not cold, but cool, like everything else in this room, floor, walls, etc. Ash pealed at the tape slowly, ready to react to it’s contents. This box was obviously here for him, it was the only thing in the room, and no-one had reacted to his being awake. Laying the tape aside he opened the lid and found a pair of ear buds and an iPhone, each neatly wrapped in their own plastic bag. He opened the first bag and turned on the phone. It booted silently…

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Topic: No More Facebook... for 28 days or more?

I Deactivated Facebook... for 28 days.

I'm not sure why yet.

I wasn't using it much, and when I did I found it distracting, in a non-productive way. I left Twitter up for now, and Google+ is so pervasive that I'd have to delete ALL my Google activity/accounts in order to walk away from it.

Deactivating is not the same as Deleting, that would be permanent. I set Facebook to auto-reactivate in 28 days. I want to run this as an experiment. Can I make it 28 days without Facebook? I think so. I may come back. I'm not sure yet.

What could I accomplish in the next 28 days? Write a new book? Publish some new posts? Work overtime at my job? I don't know. I'd like this to be more purposeful.

28 days from Dec 27, 2014

Want to figure out the date that is exactly twenty-eight days from Dec 27, 2014 without counting?
Your starting date is December 27, 2014 so that means that 28 days later would be January 24, 2015.
You can check this by using the date difference calculator to measure the number of days from Dec 27, 2014 to Jan 24, 2015.

January 24, 2015

What would I like to accomplish by January 24, 2015? I'd like to write one page/post or more on my AuthorFun Fiction blog, every day, all 28 days. That starts today... so I guess I'd better cross today off my list? I'm going to focus on my White Noise tag, but I may do others.


You can see if I keep up with that HERE.



In other words... will I #BeStillBeLed?


---

And now I leave you with a question:

What do you think about this idea, would you take 28 days off of Facebook to do something productive with your time?

To Respond Leave A Comment on This Post

By Darrell Wolfe

About This Blog, and Darrell. 

This Weeks Resource:

• Circle Series 4-in-1 (The Circle Series)

Affiliate Disclosure:
I earn commissions off of some of my suggestions. Full Disclaimers (Click Here)
See my Store for more suggestions (Click Here)

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The Interview... Gone Wild!!!!

After hearing about North Korea's attack, I got to thinking how tired I am of dictators like the Kim Jong's, Putin, or Obama... People that are always trying to get the masses to comply to their will or be afraid of being outspoken...

Here's what I would be tempted to do if I were @SonyPictures or @SethRogen, I'd just send the movie via mp4 to every known email address in the world I could get my hands on with a message to pass it around.

Take that Dictatorships of the world!

Or not...

Maybe I wouldn't...

Or would I?

I didn't make the movie, so I don't get to make that call. I guess we'll never know.

Come on Sony... Do it... Do it... I DARE you!!

DarrellWolfe

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The Part Is Yours... Can you hear the call?

Why am I here?

It seems like a such a simple question. This weekend I went to see Truthical at +GatewayPeople Church in Southlake, TX. The subtext:

The Part Is Yours... if you want it...  

The main character, a famous actress, is aware that there is more to life, or at least hopes there is. She receives a pamphlet for a casting call that her agent tells her to avoid. It's for a show called "Truthical". She wonders into the stage and is met by a yound lady who begins to tell her about this wonderful producer, and how there are no auditions, anyone who wants to be in the production can be in it.... you are left with a question at the end... The Part Is Yours, but...

Will you accept the part designed and created just for you?

The crux of the question is to ask a lost person if they would accept the call to accept Jesus and be saved. It's among the best evangelistic tools I've ever seen because I, yes even I, found myself weeping, and laughing, and carried away with this marvelous production to the very same question...

So after you accept the call to be saved, will you accept the calling He has placed on your life? Will you accept the part he has written just for you?

I'm saved, born again, baptised in the Holy Spirit, working my way free from Religion and toward Freedom In Him. In fact, they mentioned religious tradition in the play. The main character says: "What you mean, get religion, and follow a bunch of rules and traditions?" The guide says "No, that's a difference production. It's called Tradionical, and it's much more widely known, and has had terrible reviews!"

So why do I feel so... blank? Why do I feel like I should not just be headed toward doing something more, but actually have been doing it for a long time already by now. I feel like there is something I could have done had a taken a right turn a while back, and now I'm here wondering where here is.

After taking the Discovery path I learned alot more about who I am, and who I'm not. I know I had tedious physical work that involves manipulating minute details with my hands. Everything from wood carving to data entry to building computers is out for me. I know writing is a part of my path, which is why I'm here, writing blogs that few may ever read. I cannot help but write. And so I write.

Music? Maybe. I find music follows me whereever I go, like a lost dog asking me to take it home. But I don't find myself drawn toward it, like I do writing. Maybe I just haven't found my place in music yet.

And so... here I am, asking myself, asking God, what is my part? What was the role written just for me from before time, and how do I stop lolligaging and get to it!?

What about you? Do you know what your role is? What have you been cast for? And have you ever tried to live our someone elses role because you thought it was yours or you wanted it to be yours, only to find it didn't fit right (like taking a shower with your clothes on)? Answer in the comments below, or hit me on the twitter or Google+.

By Darrell Wolfe

About This Blog, and Darrell. 

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Being Still | The Missing Element In Most Prayers

Attribution: Stillness by Christian.Rudman

How often are we ever, really, still?

Psalms 46:10

New Living Translation
"Be still, and know that I am God! I will be honored by every nation. I will be honored throughout the world."


Holman Christian Standard Bible
Stop your fighting--and know that I am God, exalted among the nations, exalted on the earth."


NET Bible
He says, "Stop your striving and recognize that I am God! I will be exalted over the nations! I will be exalted over the earth!"


GOD'S WORD® Translation
Let go [of your concerns]! Then you will know that I am God. I rule the nations. I rule the earth.

I've written before about Being Still, which in itself was sparked my Michael Hyatt's great article "The Practice of Stillness". I've been trying to practice this, off and on, since I first wrote about this in April of this year, 2014.

I find stillness difficult. My mind racing with so many ideas and thoughts. The first few that come to me I want to stop being still and start writing and blogging about them. I've had to learn to keep a note pad with me, and just jot the basic essence of thought down and go back to "being still".

I got more practice with this at Gateway - Freedom Ministries - Kairos event. It's hard to describe how great that two days was. It was a total reset. Of course, in the following weeks, I've had normal life ensure, and I have to make the choice if I'm going to use some of the new tools I learned at Kairos to continue honing my practice of Being Still. I journaled some of those keys HERE.

I read 2 Kings, chapters 1-5 this morning, and it dawned on me.... David practiced this stillness. Even though he was known for being a man of war and action, he did this. He stopped, and asked God for direction, and then WAITED for an answer before taking action.

Then it dawned on me, "How often do we EVER be still and know that He is God?" When is the last time you literally stopped ALL physical AND mental activity for five straight minutes and just got real still inside?


That' my encouragement for you today, go back and read my article and Michael Hyatt's article linked above if you want more instructions on how. But go get still before God. Set a timer for 5 minutes, 10, 15 maybe? And just get still inside long enough for His still small voice to start being heard.

Here is a song to meditate on regarding this: Link HERE









In other words... will I #BeStillBeLed?


---

And now I leave you with a question:

What do you think about Stillness, when was the last time YOU were still, really still?

To Respond Leave A Comment on This Post

By Darrell Wolfe

About This Blog, and Darrell. 

This Weeks Resource:

• Grace: The Power To Change, Dr Jim Richards

Affiliate Disclosure:
I earn commissions off of some of my suggestions. Full Disclaimers (Click Here)
See my Store for more suggestions (Click Here)

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Subscribe By Email

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Kairos | Notes

Kairos - When Eternity Steps Into Time

+GatewayPeople 

My Notes - This is the type of event you really need to experience, it cannot be explained. These notes below are what I got out of it. You might get totally different things. I strongly suggest you make plans to attend. It's open for all churches. You can register (HERE).

 

Appetite for the Eternal

The Soul (mind, will, emotions) is the place of temptation.  Our spirit was saved, our soul is being saved, our body is slowly dying now, but will be saved.

 Ecclesiastes 3 - There is an appointed season for every purpose under heaven.

Physical Pain is a gift of God to tell us something is wrong with our body and it needs to heal. Ex: If you were to begin slowly cutting your hand off, your body would tell you to STOP IT! Physical Pain awakens us to a physical problem.

Soul (mind, will, emotions) Pain is the same thing. It tells you that there is something wrong. Emotional pain awakens us to our soulish problems.

Spiritual Pain awakens us to our eternal needs. In the light of eternity, good things on earth should not satisfy us into complacency, not should bad things pain us into hopelessness.

Question: Do you want God... or just what God can do for you? Am I receiving the benefits of God with Gratitude, or treating them as entitlements? If I treat God as my servant, "Do what I want... now!" any answered prayer will strengthen my sense of entitlement, and any non-answered prayer will cause a deeper sense of pain. God cannot win, when you are playing the role of boss. Without gratitude there is no relationship.

SIN: Seeking 2nd things/attachment to the wrong things. When we seek 2nd things, we loose the 1st things, and the second things are lost as well. When we seek 1st things, the 2nd things are thrown in for free.

Matthew 6:33 NKJV

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Sin is not: Breaking the Rules
Sin is: Heart Condition, Inherited from Adam

Sin is not: Bad Behavior
Sin is: Falling Short of Glory

Romans 3:23 NKJV

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,

The Sin Solution is not: Better Behavior
The Sin Solution is: New Heart/Spirit

Sin came when we chose knowledge of the right vs wrong over the force of LIFE. The sin solution is not a better knowledge and practice of good, it is connecting to the Source Force of LIFE itself.

Strongholds are soulish, and can be recognized when we know that God's word says "A", but we believe "X" based on our experiences. I know God says "Healing is yours", but I believe I won't be healed... I know God says that I will prosper by following His way, but I'll just be poor my whole life...

These are the types of statements someone makes when caught in a stronghold.

I know God's Word says... But my experience says... I believe my experience.

 We need to understand "HERE" from the perspective of "THERE"

God gave me a funny comparison. The difference between earth and heaven, is similarly to the difference between the 1950's Superman Comic Book, and the 2013 Man of Steel Movie. 

Compare the graphics of a 1950's Comic

To the CGI effects of a 2013 Movie.



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Establishing Identity/Hearing God

Story One: Deaf Guy - Summary - There was a deaf man, and a new Sign Language (ASL) instructor came in. This man was ignored by everyone, so she took him on. She came to him and signed "My name is Karen", and he signed back in perfect ASL, "My name is Karen". She was surprised. She she signed "No, my name is Karen, what is your name?" He signed back "No, my name is Karen, what is your name?" Puzzled, she began to realize that this deaf man had words... but he did not have language. He did grasp the meaning of words. Words contain images, ideas, concepts. They are containers for thoughts. They communicate thoughts. If you have the words but no language, you cannot communicate, you can only Parrot. She worked with this man until one day he jumped from his chair and signed "I GET IT! This is a chair, things have names!" And he started the slow process of learning language.

Story Two: Pastors Kid - There was a pastors kid who grew up to be a pastor on staff at the same church his Dad pastored. Do to some things mean church goes had said, there was a lie in his head that he had no real talent or ability, and that the only reason he was on staff was because of who his Dad was. One day God breaks through and tells him: "Listen, you have not gotten where you are because of your talent and ability, you HAVE gotten where you are because of who your Father is... and I AM YOUR FATHER! Because of that, no man can put you in, and no man can take you out."

You cannot think without language. Words connected to ideas are how language takes place, and it takes language to think. Babies and Dogs probably both dream images, but they do not "think" as we do. Thinking requires language.

When we struggle with our walk with God, it is often because we are "hearing" another voice, not the voice of our Shepherd.

Questions to ask God, and listen for Him to answer them.

1. What are you saying to me today, about me?
2. What names have I believed about me today that are not from you?
3. What are the names You, God, would have me believe?
4. What lie/name have I believed about you?
5. What name do you want me to know about you?

 

Anatomy of a Stronghold

Anatomy of a Stronghold

1. Event - Caused by external factors, creates a pain point in your life. 
2. Lie - The enemy took this event as an opportunity to tell you a lie about it, that you believed. 
3. Defense/Comfort - Some action that brings comfort and feels right, based on the lie. 
4. Reaction - Either other people's reaction to my defense, or a natural by-product of the comfort/defense creates a similar event to that which caused the lie, and reinforces the lie, so I go deeper into my comfort, and the reaction happens again. Thus the cycle is strong with each turn.

Example One: Financial Stronghold

1. Event - Financial Set Back
2. Lie - God Doesn't Come Through/Provide for Me
3. Comfort/Defense - Seek to spend money on food/fun.
4. Reaction - Money Spend unwisely creates another financial setback...

Example Two: Relationship Stronghold (affected friendships, relationships, sex life, etc...)

1. Event - Rejected/Beat Up/Bullied by a stereo-type Male Jock
2. Lie - I am Intellectually Superior to most men, and all Jocks.
3. Comfort/Defense - Seek affection, comfort, and validation from Women. Keep no male friends. Reject sports unless women are there (like gymnastics). Get addicted to relationships with women like a drug, moving from one to the next rapidly seeking validation. Push most forms of male friendship away, in some cases feel greatest satisfaction when I take a woman from a male (especially a jock-type). 
1. Only friends are women, gay men, or men who show a tendency for favoring intellectual or artistic pursuits over physical ones.
4. Reaction -  Men keep their distance, or worse bully. Thus, rejected by men, thus reinforcing the lie...

The Painful Event was not the problem, the lie we believed about it is the problem. If you can begin to identify each of the four components of the cycle, you can interrupt the cycle, and start a positive strong hold instead.

1. Event - Any Event
2. TRUTH -
3. True Comfort - 
4. Positive Reaction -

The problem with negative strongholds, is that they create a wall that doesn't just keep bad stuff from getting in, it keeps good stuff from getting in too. It also ties you to the very thing you wanted to be free from. Saying " I'll never by like my Dad..." is the best way to guarantee that you will be!

These vows FEEL right, but are WRONG. Nobody can take down your stronghold for you. But neither can you do it yourself. You need the Holy Spirit to show you which bricks to remove, in which order, and let Him empower you to remove them one by one.

2 Corinthians 10:4-5

4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,  

Solution:

Repentance involves a change in how I perceive reality. One of the most fundamental changes in how I perceive reality involves changing the source of truth. I need a new source of truth, and a new source of comfort and protection. You may see in the natural that you are one guy in a house on open land surrounded by armies. Elijah.

Which would you rather be, that guy with a wall built around the house, hoping the enemy doesn't get in? Or that guy with a house on open land, with your own ARMY 10 times the size surrounding the army that surrounds you? Meanwhile, you keep the view unobstructed by walls, and good things can still come freely to visit?

2 Kings 6
New American Standard Bible
Then Elisha prayed and said, "O LORD, I pray, open his eyes that he may see." And the LORD opened the servant's eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.

1. Ask God: "Father, reveal a significant event that happened in my life."
2. Ask God: "Father, reveal the lie I believed about that event."
3. Ask God: "Father, reveal the comfort/defense I seek after believing that lie."
4. Ask God: "Father, reveal the natural/people reaction from that comfort/defense."
5. Father, I confess "insert lie here" as a lie. Forgive me for believing that lie. What truth would you have me believe instead?
6. Father, what comfort/defense should I believe/seek instead? 

Walk that out... day by day, event by event... building a new positive stronghold. 

Grace and Receiving Forgiveness

Nothing we every DO can result in forgiveness. Everything HE HAS DONE resulted in forgiveness. Our part is to receive.

The same thing is true for all of God's benefits. God heals, we receive. God delivers, we receive. God prospers, we receive.

When we pray for people to get healed, our part is to pray in faith, and lay hands. God's part is to heal.

1. I take responsibility to pray in faith, and lay hands. My job is done. 
2. They take responsibility to receive healing. 
3. God's part is to heal. 

I take NO responsibility for God's part. If healing comes I take no credit. If healing doesn't appear to come right away, I take no blame. THAT takes all the pressure off of ME, and puts it where it belongs, on God. "Sir/Madam, I can teach you about God, help you build faith and understand His will. I can pray in faith, and I can lay hands on you... and that is where I stop. I've never healed anybody. Not ever. Only God heals. You receive it. I can't do your part, and I certainly can't do God's. Are you ready to believe?" 

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The Worst Sinner EVER...

God showed me something during class today that floored me.

Matthew 27:45-54
45 Now from the sixth hour until the ninth hour there was darkness over all the land. 46 And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" that is, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?" 47 Some of those who stood there, when they heard that, said, "This Man is calling for Elijah!" 48 Immediately one of them ran and took a sponge, filled it with sour wine and put it on a reed, and offered it to Him to drink. 49 The rest said, "Let Him alone; let us see if Elijah will come to save Him." 50 And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. 51 Then, behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth quaked, and the rocks were split, 52 and the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; 53 and coming out of the graves after His resurrection, they went into the holy city and appeared to many. 54 So when the centurion and those with him, who were guarding Jesus, saw the earthquake and the things that had happened, they feared greatly, saying, "Truly this was the Son of God!"

Jesus had prayed earlier for the Father to forgive them (the men who were killing him), they knew not what they do. Here, at the end, when Jesus dies, there is an earthquake, and major stuff goes down... the centurion, one of the men responsible for actually doing the crucifixion feared saying "Truly, this was God's kid"... I got a picture in my mind of this man being one of the several driving the nails into his hands and feet, and enjoying it, because he took pride in his work. After all, these men deserve to die, and he was good at his job ensuring it happened. But when he has the realization that he's just killed God's Son... he has a sinking fear that he's done something wrong... that this one didn't deserve it. He's instantly changed from executioner to murderer. Centurion fear not just for his life... but for his soul. And for the first time he comes face to face with his need for eternal things. I doubt he got saved there, at the cross... maybe he did. I do think that he recalled "Father... forgive them, they know not what they do..." and I think that phrase echoed throughout his mind and heart. I don't know if it happened right then, or if it was after Pentecost and he was among the crowd that heard the first sermon from Peter. Maybe he was one of the first 3,000 to get saved? Maybe not, because he was a centurion and not a Jew. Non Jews didn't get saved until Paul came on the scene, or Peter are Cornelius house. But weather it was right there, as Jesus hung on that tree, or days, weeks, or months later... did he go back, to the spot where HE killed Jesus... did he receive that forgiveness Jesus offered. And if the man who actually drove the nails into Jesus' hands could be forgiven... couldn't you?

It's hard to say how much of the story is true, but Church History does record the name of Longinus as the head centurion at the Cross, who spoke those works "surely this is God's Son" and he because a Church leader, and fiery preacher.

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Another memory, this memory was more a series of events... this time of my brother.

Event(S)
Between 4-5 years old (my brother would have been 2-3) I saw a vision of a demon in our room. It looked like a normal person, until it turned it's head and it's eyes were vacant holes of black. She (the demon was a she, or portrayed herself as a she), was looking at my brother, but would turn to me. She didn't open her mouth, but I heard the words in my heart, the message was "Don't interfere, he's mine." I was terrified. I ran to my parents room when she turned back. Mom and Dad came with me to the room, it was gone... I don't recall what happened next, they probably put me back in bed, or maybe let me stay with them, although I doubt that. This was not a dream, or a fanciful memory, it happened. It's as real to me today as it was then.

About this same age, I remember telling him to stand still, I stood on a porch a little higher than him. I was going to take a large rock and throw it over his head. Unfortunately, it didn't go over his head, it hit him square on the forehead. No major damage, but it did cause a cut, and may or may not have needed stitches, can't remember. 

Later, I had dreams of trying to save him. These were spiritual dreams, I didn't know it at the time. The only one I remember clearly was of him drowning at the bottom of a pool, and I ran to tell my parents who ignored me "that's nice", and I jumped in to save him, and he was chained to the bottom and I couldn't loose him. (I was about 5-6 when these dreams occurred).

My brother would get anything he wanted. Favor followed that kid something fierce. One day, we were old enough to go on our own. We were at a hotel, and we got sent with money we each had across the street to a restaurant. I think a McDonald's. He didn't have enough for what he wanted, so she gave him both things anyway. She did NOT give me both, I had to choose. I remember thinking, he get's to misbehave constantly and get's rewarded for it, I have to do the right thing and get nothing for it. I have to be the responsible one.

One more event, at ten years old a (deaconess/elderess) lady leader told me that as the pastors son, I needed to start setting a better example for those other boys (kids)... who were 13-14 years old.

The Lie

I don't know if there was a single moment, or if it just built up, I think it just built up. Eventually I decided that I was seeing things that no one else saw... I was responsible for him... I was not strong enough or good enough... why try...

I felt the need to be responsible, an overwhelming sense of not being strong enough, and a resentment toward anyone or anything that would demand too much from me. 

 How can I summarize this lie?

You need to be responsible,but you are not strong enough, good enough, able enough.

I began to feel unworthy to be in positions of leadership. I sabotaged any advancement into leadership at jobs, moved from job to job before I could get too much responsibility. I was called to preach at 10, but ran from it my whole life. The thought of taking the platform terrifies me. Not because I think I would be bad at... I actually think I would be great at it... and THAT terrifies me. Eventually I'll realize I'm not good enough or strong enough to stay there.

I sought solace/comfort/defense in various things. Alcohol, Women, Internet Activities, Work, Tasks...

It's paralyzed me from making decisions, or being responsible. When a woman was get too needy, I was either out, or treated her badly so that she would leave. Not on purpose, per say, but that's what I now know I was doing.

So the lie perpetuated more events, which perpetuated the lie. Women, Work, Life... I'm not good enough or strong enough and I should run from responsibility. 

What is the truth that I should believe?

I have been given the ability to see things other don't see, and a passion to set them free. I am a human in a fallen world. I'm not strong enough or good enough, and cannot set anyone free. Only Jesus can set people free. I cannot and should not take responsibility for other people's freedom. I can and should allow Him to show me the problem, Listen for him to tell me what to do/say about it... and then let HIM take responsibility for the results. I lay hands on the sick, I speak healing over them... HE does the healing. I can take no credit when healing comes, or blame when it doesn't. I can't heal or set free, only HE can.


I'm sure there are other notes I could jot down, and I may come back and add them. But that's what I have for now.

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