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Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Shots in the dark...

For the first time since my wife passed, June 25, 2018, I've decided to start writing again. Not sure if this will make it into the final cut of the novel I'm working on (Distortion, a White Noise series), but I thought I'd share the rough draft of my first words back.

***

Wet hail assaulted the thin metal roof of the RV like a barrage of weapons fire. Ash sat on the floor, back against the couch, dripping red water onto the floor, a mix of his own from a rough patch and hers... His mind was black as the room, his thoughts hidden from himself like the storm had hidden the stars.

Like the random hits of blue lightning outside the windows, images flashed through his mind of the night's events. What he could have done differently. What he could have done to prevent it. Every plan had been stunted, but they persevered, until the end. He kept coming up blank. Every alternative could have ended them here. He was lost. Blank. Mind racing on a track with no destination.

He was forced to leave Destiny’s body on the ground as he ran from the sniper. By the time he’d doubled back, the nest was cleaned and empty. Police, Fire, Ambulance now covered the scene below, they’d tend to her better than he could.

Chester looked terrified as they put the hood over his head, and stuffed him into one of the five black armored Escalades and drove off.

Escape. Run. Drive. Ash found the RV parked at the rendezvous point; now a rendezvous of one. After driving for two hours, Ash found his arms and legs shaking too much to continue. He pulled off onto an old mountain road, snaked up into the hills, and pulled over in a clearing covered by tall pines.

Now he sat. Shaking. Blank. He should be feeling… something. Angry. Sad. Something. But he just sat, staring at the small refrigerator door, the faux grains making moving patterns in his head when the lightning revealed them.


The next morning... TBC

***

Thank you for reading,


Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



Monday, September 24, 2018

Embracing Grief - The process God gave you to heal

The following was a question from a Widow/Widower support group I belong to:

What is the most important thing you've learned about grief?


My Answer:

Grief is a process to be embraced and walked through. 

Your physical brain has developed protein structures (memories and muscle memories) that tell your body to react in a certain way.

These structures tell the leg to move when walking and they tell the body and mind to be a certain way at home with your spouse, certain expected norms.

Just as when a Vet loses a limb, a widow(er) loses something much more profound, their other half.

The new treatment for those who lose limbs is to activate the new nerve endings by rubbing them frequently with various materials (hard, soft, scratchy, smooth, hot, cold) so the brain can learn the new nerve endings. This helps alleviate "Phantom Limb Syndrome".

God gave us Widows(ers) the gift of Grief to help us recognize and process these protein structures in the brain as they relate to our late spouse. They are gone. Grief helps us come to terms with that and then continue to live a God-given fulfilling life.

This only works when we embrace the grief process, instead of burying and ignoring the process.

That's been the more precious, if not hardest, lesson I've learned.



Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



Saturday, July 7, 2018

A Memorial Message of Hope

My wife, Flavia Antoinette Wolfe, passed into Glory on 06/25/2018. This is the message/word God gave me.

Dealing with Tragedy


When tragedy strikes, we often compelled to ask questions and express doubts:
• Why?
• What if… a thousand what-ifs…
• If only…
• I should have/shouldn't have
• Can God really be good?
• Can the Bible really be true?

The answer to why is simple, hard, and totally unsatisfying: This World Is Broken. 

Sin entered the world, and through sin, death. BUT, God. So many powerful stories have a "but God" moment. Jesus came, he conquered death, and through him, our sorrow is lessened, and a drop of joy lies underneath.

"These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 New King James Version (NKJV)

You WILL have tribulation. That's just as much a promise as anything else in the bible. Trouble is here on this planet for all of us because of sin. He overcame! And Flavia has now received the fruit of that overcoming as she has been received into Glory.

God's Word


Breath of Life
Genesis 2:7
And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and man became a living being.

Dust and Ashes
Genesis 3:19
In the sweat of your face, you shall eat bread Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are, And to dust, you shall return.

The Promise
2 Corinthians 5:5-9 New King James Version (NKJV)
5 Now He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who also has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. 6 So we are always confident, knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord. 7 For we walk by faith, not by sight. 8 We are confident, yes, well pleased rather to be absent from the body and to be present with the Lord.

The Comfort of Christ’s Coming
1 Thessalonians 4
13 But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. 14 For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus. 15 For this, we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord will by no means precede those who are asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore comfort one another with these words.

My Father's House
John 14:1-3 NIV
1 “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. 2 My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

A Door In Heaven
Revelation 4 New King James Version (NKJV)
4 After these things I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven. And the first voice which I heard was like a trumpet speaking with me, saying, “Come up here, and I will show you things which must take place after this.”

The Great Exchange

  • You: Give Him your dead life. All of it. 
  • He: Gives your his LIFE. All of it.
  • He takes your death, and you take His LIFE. 
  • Your work is to believe (John 6:29). That's it. Believe it in your heart, speak it out loud with your mouth, and you will have it. Guaranteed - John 3:16-18


Romans 10:9-11
If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with your heart you believe and are justified, and with your mouth, you confess and are saved. It is just as the Scripture says: “Everyone who believes in Him will not be put to shame.”


Three Keys To Remember While Grieving


1. It's not God's Fault
From here on out, do not say that God "took her". God did not take her, but he did receive her. The devil comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; but, Jesus came that we might have LIFE and life more and more abundantly.

2. Honor her: Live LIFE
That LIFE we live on earth comes in quantities. It's not simply on or off. You can have some life, or more of it, or be full of it. Even day today, you can have more or less LIFE flowing through you. And ultimately, when we go to be with Flavia, we will have LIFE in a way we cannot even fathom here.

3. Celebrate Her in memories of the good times and through living a better life because you knew her:
We do not mourn FOR her, we mourn for ourselves. We miss her. We want her back. We want her presence, laughs, smiles, hugs… wisdom. We celebrate her life, influence, and passion. We celebrate her legacy in the lives of the people she impacted, Connor and Preston most of all… and myself.


Parting thought:

Don't live every day like it's your last… live every day like it's their last.

We'll be here to talk about her for a little while, but this officially ends our service. Thank you for coming to support our family and celebrate her life.


Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



Click for the Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe) - Memorial Information Page











Thursday, June 28, 2018

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe) - Memorial Information Page

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe, nickname "Blueberry") passed away on 06/25/2018. 





Links and Contact:

Honestly, Facebook and Facebook Messenger are the best places to reach Darrell.

What Happened?

For detail on what happened, click here.

If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-heres-what.html


Shared Photo Album:

I created a Google Photos album, ! Flavia Wolfe (link here), so that I could share photos of her. I'll add more over time. I made it shareable so other's could add their own photos too.

If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/t2QPRtHa7VbJezbi8


Obituary:

Flavia Antoinette Wolfe (and Baby Wolfe, nickname "Blueberry") passed away on 06/25/2018 at approximately 2:24 am PST.
She leaves behind a Husband (Darrell Wolfe 37), Two Sons (Connor Wolfe 13, Preston Wolfe 10), a Mother and Father (JoAnn & Rocky Sutherland), a Mother In Love (Debbie Tweedy), and a host of friends and family that loved her.

*Baby Wolfe: Flavia was about 7 weeks pregnant. That's early enough that it didn't feel real, per say, but we were getting excited. We don't know, but, I feel in my heart that it was a girl. If so, her name was Azarea Ann Wolfe; Flavia had the name picked out since she herself was about 16. If it was a boy, his name was going to be Caleb. We'd been talking about having more for years, and these names were ready to go. During the ultrasound, the OBGYN mentioned (or was it her pregnancy app?) that the baby was about the size of a blueberry. Flavia would talk about her little blueberry. I've decided to nickname baby: "Blueberry" from here on out.


About Flavia:

There's not enough room to put it all into words. I could spend the next thirty years writing stories about her, I suppose. I think the following are important to say:

  • Believer: She loved Jesus. She was born again, spirit filled, and she is with her Abba/Daddy in heaven right now. She's enjoying herself, free from the weights of this world. She's raising our third child, Azarea. She's not lost. We grieve because we don't have her here with us, but we don't grieve for her, we grieve for our own hurt due to her prolonged absence. We'll see her again on the other side.
  • Mom (Wolfe Pups Mom): She LOVED Connor and Preston. I know I'm biased; however, I honestly don't know that I've ever met a mom so totally dedicated to her children. Her highest hope and desire was for them. She didn't plan vacations unless it was about and for them. She stayed at home and raised them as a Homeschool Mom. When our finances forced her to work for the first time this past year, she worked overnights and early mornings just to make sure she could still raise them as a Homeschool Mom.
  • Wife: She was dedicated to me. Her love and devotion through the hard times healed my heart. On Jan 6th, 2017, we had renewed our devotion to each other and had the BEST year and half of our marriage at the end. Her influence on me will carry itself through everything I do from here.
  • Daughter & Family: I have nothing I can add other than to say she was a rock steady glue that held this family (immediate and extended) together. Her mom, JoAnn, was her best friend. Mom mom, Debbie, was in love with her.
  • Creatively Unique Artist: She was an Artist. She spent most of her time in the craft world, trying to find ways to bring extra income to the family from home. She focused on this so much, that she never fulfilled what I know was her calling, to be an artist with works in galleries and in homes. However, she put the intensity of a fine-arts master into everything she created. Whether it was Paper Machete Piggy Banks, Yarn Dolls, Crochet Hats, or Bags... she put a level of detail and precision that went far beyond "crafter". She posted them on her Facebook Page: Creatively Unique Arts.




Getting Involved:

So many people want to help in some way. It's hard because there's only so many grocery deliveries or meals we can take before it ends up going to waste.

(1) Monetary Donations:

We set up a GoFundMe (link here) campaign in her name. The funds will be used for several things:

  • Medical & Final Expense Costs
  • Bills, Debts, and Unexpected Items
  • School: with her gone, they'll probably go to "school" for the first time. Public school is NOT an option. So, we'll need to cover Charter Schools or something.
  • Anything left over will go toward things the kids need over the next few years and maybe college accounts.
If the link doesn't work, paste this into your browser:

https://www.gofundme.com/flavia-wolfe-memorial-fund?teamInvite=fG3YEqhDKkCmqiGqDZTUVN8iCXWDvlLNeRkjqJTAL4eRqdGaU7QhFAheAGk7ar6V


(2) Other Needs:

Some would like to do something more than giving money. I'm going to list the random things we either need or would be helpful or just random things we talk about to give ideas. By no means should anyone feel like these are all needs, they're just things that come up in conversation and I've been asked to share no matter how random.
  • Clothes: She always handled this and we were just talking about how the boys outgrew everything in a sudden growth spurt this spring.
    • Connor: Size TBA
      • He's always been a preppy kid. 
      • Shoes & Hiking Boots: Size TBA
      • Jeans
      • Sweats / Night Pants
      • T-Shirts
      • Summer Evening Sweaters
      • Winter Jackets
      • Anything with Batman or Pokemon
    • Preston: Size TBA
      • He's sensitive to fabric feel. He needs things that are soft, smooth, loose fitting.
      • Shoes & Hiking Boots: Size TBA
      • Jeans
      • Athletic Wear
      • Sweats / Night Pants
      • T-Shirts
      • Summer Evening Sweaters
      • Winter Jackets
      • Anything with Batman or Pokemon
  • Pokemon Cards: Packs, Boxes, Whatever you find. Just remember, there are two boys.
  • Boat: We wanted to buy a boat someday, and kayaks, but short of owning them, we want to go out on them. If you are in this area and own them, we'll come with you this summer... and beyond.
  • Outings: If you are in North Idaho, especially if you have kids our age, invite us out. We can't always except, but I'm going to make a concerted effort this summer to get out as often as I can. Just realize that we need time at home alone resting and processing as well. 
  • TBD
  • TBD
  • TBD
  • TBD
  • *A Nintendo Switch (*2): This is a costly item, but I'll throw it out there. This was on our list to get and play together before she left. They now want two of them because I guess it turns into a hand-held? They wanted to play some new Mario game on there and the new Pokemon.

    Service:
    There will be a memorial service held for those of us who remain so we can celebrate her life and influence.

    Date: Saturday, July 7th, 2018
    Time: 12:00 pm (noon) PST
    Location: One Place Church, Hayden Idaho
    Directions(link here)


    One Place Church
    190 Centa Ave, Hayden, ID 83835
    https://goo.gl/maps/S8FHJbJrQeq
    *Just behind Q'doba, across the parking lot from Peak Fitness.


    In lieu of flowers (it's a three male household), send gift cards or Pokemon Card Packs:
    Darrell, Connor, and Preston Wolfe
    PO Box 1307
    Hayden, ID 83835


    Some Favorite Photos:
























    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



    Monday, June 25, 2018

    Flavia Antoinette Wolfe: Here's what happened...

    Flavia Antoinette Wolfe died this morning (06/25/2018) at approximately 2:45 am PST.

    For update see
    http://www.darrellwolfe.com/2018/06/flavia-antoinette-wolfe-and-baby-wolfe.html?m=1

    The following is meant to answer some basic questions that everyone's asking me. I'd rather send a link then type or talk it out over and over. I'll add more memories and things later as I recall or rediscover. It's a little cathartic for me, to be able to get it out of my head anyway.

    The background leading up to this morning:


    • On May 24, 2018, I got a text with a picture of a positive pregnancy test followed by "So... Boy, girl, twins?"
    • We made appointments, got excited. Flavia was overweight but in generally good health otherwise, so-say-the-tests. However, the pregnancy hit her hard and fast. She said within a month of that test she was feeling like she did when she was six-months pregnant.
    • 06/06/2018: She took the boys to get Fro-Yo, it was nice outside, they decided to walk around the block. Everything was fine, except she got tired fast.
    • 06/09/2018: She started complaining of cramping and little nausea. Common pregnancy issues.
    • 06/10/2018: She said her left leg was started to hurt. It was the day after work, she guessed she hurt it up and down the ladders stalking, or strained it in some way.
    • 06/11/2018: We had our first OBGYN appointment. They took pictures, the baby was the size of the blueberry. The leg was hurting worse. The doctor said if it continued that she wanted it checked out for blood clots.
    • 06/12/2018: Her leg was still very sore, and getting worse. We called the OBGYN, she had Flavia scheduled for an ultra-sound on her leg. After reading, reading, re-reading, all of the symptoms common to clots, cramps, and strains, Flavia was becoming convinced that she had pulled a muscle but went anyway just to be safe.
    • 06/13/2018: The ultrasound was performed, they said there were not able to find any clots. Flavia was worried about returning to work and making sure her Leave of Absence (LOA) was covered. I told her not to force is, returning to work too early could cause complications. She reluctantly agreed to take more time off. She went to the Urgent Care that night. They did whatever they do, said it was a strain and told her to use Aspercream. 
    • 06/13-06/24: This was a whole lot more of the same. No new appointments, but the leg was feeling better, then not, then it was, then her back was hurting from sleeping in positions that propped her leg. She was getting frustrated.
    • 06/24/2018: We talked that night about our dreams for the future, our plans, making sure we focused on our areas of strength and not forcing things that don't fit us. Great talk. I went to be at her encouragement and she slept on the couch again to prop her leg.
    • 06/24/2018--06/25/2019: At approximately 1:00-1:30 am PST, Flavia came into the bedroom and called my name. She was frantic. She said her leg didn't hurt anymore but she was dizzy and to take her to the hospital. She collapsed in the living room. I called 911. 
    • The paramedics performed chest compressions for about 20 minutes? They took her to the hospital ER. I gathered the boys, expecting it to be a while and then follow her to the room when they got her back up and spend a long night there. 
    • The boys stayed in the waiting room with a nurse, they talked about Pokemon. 
    • I stayed in the corner of the ER, watching, praying, waiting. To my knowledge, they tried everything they could, for almost two hours. At no point during these interventions did she make progress or respond positively, as far as I could tell. 
    • 06/24/2018/06/25/2018: At approximately 2:45 am PST, the doctor informed me that she was not responding, hadn't responded once during the entire ordeal, and he was going to stop intervention. She was pronounced deceased. 
    • The boys were escorted to a consultation room. I met them there and they expected to hear she was better. There was a lot of screaming and crying when I told them she'd passed. Then Flavia's mom and dad arrived. We all went to the room, saw Flavia, everyone had their own reactions.
    • Eventually, I took the boys home. Flavia's mom and dad followed and stayed for a while. Then it was clear the boys just needed space. They headed home to grieve. The boys spent today watching The Flash episodes. Flavia, the boys, and I had started on season one. We spent all yesterday watching it together. I think they want to finish out because we all started it. They also wanted the distraction. I bought them some more games for the handhelds. 
    And that's now. Several people lovingly brought us food, one came and took some bulk trash for me. My mom's coming tonight on a plane. 

    I know there's nothing you can say. I know you care. I know I can ask you for help when I need it. Right now, we just want to let it settle. The boys facilitate from crying to numb to distracted. We've laughed a few times, which is nice. 

    Flavia is in heaven. We didn't lose her. We know where she is, we'll see her again someday. The baby is in heaven too. I don't know if it was a girl or boy, maybe they'll tell us when they complete the autopsy. In my heart, it I believe it was our girl, Azarea. I'll see both of them again someday. 


    For now, we are heartbroken, sad, angry, lost, confused, shocked, living in a surrealness that makes it feel that any moment she'll walk in the door, or walk from another room, or the hospital will call and say "we were wrong, she responded"... But we will make it. Team Wolfe. We'll let you know what we need as time goes on.

    Numb just ended, and I have to go cry now. Thank you for your love and support.

    **UPDATE: for those who asked, the autopsy did reveal a massive blot clot inithe left leg that shot loose bilateral to both lungs. Autopsy also revealed an enlarged heart that was most likely an issue for years leading up to this, and may have caused the hormone and weight issues prior. **



    Darrell

    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper (in eternity)!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

    Some asked:
    ** For the moment, you can mail things to 3403 N 4th St, CDA, ID 83815. We'll set up a GoFundMe account later, some asked for that too. Just don't have the energy to do that right now. Maybe later today or tomorrow.

    Sunday, June 17, 2018

    I Collect Churches

    So I have a confession...

    I have a strange hobby. Some people collect toys, cars, stamps. Some people visit museums, zoos, arboretums.


    New Life Church, in Rathdrum Idaho

    I... collect church experiences.

    I visit churches and collect insights on the differences between them, leadership styles, music styles, facility choices, and the overall experience. I collect pastoral teaching and teaching styles. I collect theology and theological differences.

    I didn't know it was a hobby at first. I thought I was just "looking for a home church", or looking for something I hadn't found yet. I thought I just hadn't found my place...

    Some of that is true. But really, I somewhat accidentally turned studying church into a hobby. Maybe it's because I was a pastor's kid and saw some of the inside workings from a unique perspective. Maybe it's because I secretly, and not so secretly, feel I am supposed to be a pastor but I'm still trying desperately to be anything else.

    Maybe it's because Church, theology, and teachings have let me down and disappointed me and I'm not ready to commit to any one thing, place, or person/pastor?

    I'm not sure.

    Maybe it's all those things, none of them, something else plus those and more?

    This morning, I visited New Life Church, in Rathdrum Idaho. 

    On balance, it was one of my better over-all experiences. The outside of the facility makes me feel like I'm walking back in time to something from my youth (not necessarily a good thing). However, once inside I found a nicely remodeled entry with a coffee shop.

    I was greeted warmly, by several people. However, I think they got the hint from my posture that I was uncomfortable so they eventually, thankfully, gave me my space. One thing I cannot abide is being pulled into a conversation I don't want to have.

    The soundboard was on display at the back (which is the entrance) and I almost went to check it out, but I'm a first time visitor, they have things to do and don't need the distraction, so I found a seat with the family.

    The carpet, walls, and seats need a facelift, but they were functional. I'd listened to the Elijah message before coming, so I knew that the pastor left WAY too many seats put out on purpose, contrary to popular church growth teaching, because he wants a vision of the future to get into everyone's head. I liked that idea.

    Funny thing is, I saw why church growth teachers tell you to do that. There were about 600 seats but only about 200 people. They actually did fill out all over the sanctuary so that no row or even section was full but every section had some people. I guess that's why they rope off sections in other churches, pushing people forward. Still, knowing ahead of time that it was his vision, I liked it. The absence of people didn't detract from the experience for me. I don't know if it's because I knew the vision ahead of time or not though. 


    I took some notes. The message was titled: DAD (Dedicated Against Destruction)

    Lesson: He learned from his father, also a pastor, that when change needs to happen you need to Cut deep enough that you only cut once! That includes when you change an organization as a new leader when you make changes to your health when you decide to change a habit or even a sin. Leave no room for error and don't make such a small cut that you have to keep going back over and over cutting, again and again, bleeding to death. Just cut deep enough that the problem is gone and you can start healing.

    When we need to change, either to let bad stuff go or just to let good stuff go that's distracting us from better... Do we let the Holy Spirit cut deep enough?


    Lesson: Destruction comes from false witnesses.
    “Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.  You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?  Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.  A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.  Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 7:15‭-‬19 NKJV

    What does it mean to be a False Prophet, and could you be one without knowing it?
    False prophets are godly talk with worldly actions.
    You need to be careful what voices you listen to and listen for... that includes inside your own head. Stop listening for someone else... On behalf of someone else... Or for another voice.

    Don't substitute godly things for good things. You may "want" something, but is that thing you want or enjoy keeping you from something far greater?

    Lesson: You don't get healed by comparing the size of your wound to another's. Instead of looking at what other's have, feeling either jealousy or sorrow, look at what you have and be grateful. Instead of looking at other's failures and saying "at least I'm not that bad", look at your own wounds and let God heal them so you can move on to greater things.

    Question: Could Jesus satisfy the need that sin (lust, jealousy, anger, bitterness, pride, slothfulness, desire, etc.) is trying to convince you it meets?

    The pastor brought his own son up to the platform and read from the book: Good Good Father for Little Ones (Affiliate Link); by Chris Tomlin (Author), Pat Barrett (Author).

    Lesson: The only gift you can bring God is YOURSELF... he doesn't want your sacrifice, praise, Bible reading, or other "Christian tasks"... he wants YOU. Then, out of that flows those other things.

    Thanks for reading... If you're ever in the North Idaho area, you should visit.

    *New Life Church
    Address: 7011, 6068 W Hayden Ave, Rathdrum, ID 83858
    Phone: (208) 687-3606

    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com




    Saturday, June 16, 2018

    A little ditty I was singing in the kitchen...


    I can't recall the words to...

    This song that's stuck in my head...

    I must know the words, to this stupid song, or I can't go to bed...

    It's the Circle of Life...

    Oh yeah, that's right, the Lion King...

    It's Elton John... At the height of his career...

    Good Night!


    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



    Saturday, June 9, 2018

    Give light to my eyes

    This Psalms is my hearts cry:

    Psalm 13
    For the director of music. A psalm of David.
     
    1How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?  2How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and day after day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?  
    3Look on me and answer, Lord my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death, 4and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,” and my foes will rejoice when I fall.  
    5But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. 6I will sing the Lord’s praise, for he has been good to me.


    I wrestle with depression... often... pretty much constantly. I try to keep myself above it, I smile, I laugh, I watch funny things, I make jokes... I distract myself by watching television shows, writing, doing chores or hobbies...

    But truth be told, none of that solves anything for very long. They are temporary pain medications to a bruised and battered soul.

    How long? God? How long will I battle with my own soul (mind, will, emotions)?

    It would seem that David suffered from these thoughts too, and fairly constantly if you read through the Psalms.

    The Key

    The Key, he indicates, is a new vision. "Give light to my eyes"... God IS light; therefore, seeing things from God's perspective.

    This isn't about self-talk. It's not about trying to convince myself that it's not that bad or convince myself about all the good things I do have... it's about surrendering to the presence of God (feel like it or not, especially when not) and letting him supernaturally break through and give you a glimpse of his eternal vantage point.

    This is not a one-time and done solution. This is something I must do every day. It's THIS DAILY BREAD...

    Selah!

    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



    Monday, April 30, 2018

    Have you died yet today?

    Recently, I said I wasn't religious but I did have a relationship with Jesus. The person replied that is a "textbook" response for a Christian; therefore, I am a Christian; therefore, I am religious.

    I have to laugh because "religion" is the dead following of dead traditions. The difference between my two-way relationship with a real living person (Jesus) and a religious person is the difference between a Tree and a Motorcycle. They have nothing to do with one-another.

    Yet, I can see how they get it. Religious people would read this passage and see something totally different than I see, yet we read the same passage.
    ...anyone who has died has been set free from sin... In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus... Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? Romans 6: 7,11,16

    Religion reads this and immediately says: "Try harder to do the Knowledge of Good".

    Count refers to "accounting" as in business Profit and Loss statements and Taxes. When a business adds a line item to the P&L they are accounting for something that has happened.

    I am to "account" or add my death to the balance sheet. When I account for the death I died through Jesus it allows me to account for the life I live through Him. That accounting frees me from death and gives me the freedom to live.

    An amputee will feel the limb that is missing until they activate the new nerve endings by constantly rubbing those nerve endings (the stump) with various materials. This retrains the brain and creates new neural pathways.

    I read this passage and realize that I only need to remember that I already died and decide which self (old or new) I will be feeding today. Will I scratch the new limb, or keep pretending the leg wasn't amputated?

    Selah...


    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com



    Tuesday, April 24, 2018

    The Future of Work: Is being a writer (artist, musician, creative) an impractical career?

    In a writers group on Facebook, a young writer asked (edited):
    How do you respond to family members saying that being a writer is impractical?
    This is a great question. When I was going to college I stopped pursuing music and theater because it didn't seem to lead to a "practical career". I got bogged down in other things and eventually dropped out (after six years and 78 units). But times are changing and we're in a new type of revolution.

    So, what do you think?

    What is the future of work? How would you respond?


    What is impractical, what does that even mean?

    First, you reply:
    You said 'impractical' when I think you meant 'I'm Practical'.
    The root of Impractical is Practical, or to be "not-practical". The word practical is derived from the root word PRACTICE.
    practicale "of or pertaining to matters of practice; applied," 
    All careers require a great deal of practice, hard work, study of the chosen field, and many small wins before the big wins. Ask anyone who has a modicum of success "climbing the corporate latter" for an honest appraisal of how successful they've become, how successful they feel, and how much work it took to get where they got. You'll find that the effort they put into that career could have been better spent building a career with purpose and meaning.

    As such, there is nothing MORE practical than writing, it is the basic cornerstone of society. Marketing, ad copy, news articles, "how to guides", books, movie scripts, and on and on it goes. Writing is everywhere. Try driving five blocks without seeing writing, I dare you. Did you think that writing just appears magically out of thin air? How much writing is in an App? How many Apps are there? Nothing is accomplished without the written word, ask a lawyer.

    Someone is being paid to write all of those things.

    I'll let that just sink in for a moment.

    Writing Is A Cutting Edge Career

    Second, the industrial age is not just over... It is DEAD!
    For thousands of years, mankind subsisted from his or her chosen craft. 
    Bakers, Smiths, Farmers, Scribes... These are some of the oldest professions. The industrial age took people out of locales and threw them like sardines into cities with factories and assembly lines. From the late 1800s to the early 2000s you could "get a job" and retire there.

    The days of "get a good job and retire" are over! Truck drivers, delivery drivers, doctors, bookkeepers, and more come into my office all the time and tell me that they were moved from "employee" to "contractor" overnight. They now have to file their own LLCs, get EINs, and start a business to support the job they used to have... doing the same work.

    Craft Beers. Craftsy. Etsy. Farmers Markets. Farm-to-Table Restaurants. Handmade Items. Small and Local is taking over every facet of your life while you weren't paying attention.

    The industrial revolution was more like an industrial pause button.We left small, local, handcrafted, but now we're back with a vengeance. The Maker Movement has returned us to our roots.

    The Industrial Revolution allowed for the Information Age which then provided the Maker Movement with a vehicle that could return us to those age-old roots.

    We are never going back to "working for the man" again as a society. This is my guess (and other's guess it too), more than 50% of the population will be self-employed within twenty years.

    Being a writer (artist, musician, creative) has never been more practical. You just tell them:
    I'm just ahead of the curve. I've never been more practical.



    Shalom: Live Long and Prosper!
    Darrell Wolfe (DG Wolfe)
    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant @ DarrellWolfe.com

    Monday, April 23, 2018

    Writing Prompt | Room and Bored

    At the Heart Writers group meeting tonight, led by Lauren Stinton, we did a short writing prompt.

    You have seven minutes to write (fiction or nonfiction) and it must include these three items/themes:

    1. Jesus is Lord of all
    2. Princess
    3. Cat

    Here is my result, with a bit of post-meeting editing and addition. Keep in mind, I wrote it in OneNote on my phone...

    ***

    Room and Bored

    The light amplified through the double glass window pane, despite the clawed dusty drapes, warming Princess' furry belly. She was Queen of this castle and she held the honor with dignity.

    Her human was a good servant. He brought her food at the appointed time. He changed her box. He performed his part admirably.

    Then her life shattered.

    Her human walked in the front door and laid a box on the table. "Princess, I have a surprise for you, " He said.

    She rolled off the couch back and sauntered over. The pawed the box. It moved. She jumped back, "Moew," she cried.

    A soft rumble came from the box.

    Her human pulled out a small kitten.

    How could he? Has he taken to dethroning me?

    "This little guy was hurt and alone," her human said."He needs our help. His name is Jesus, it's Spanish."

    She saw the kitten was missing a paw. Remembering her first days in the veterinary clinic, where Leeland saved her, her heart softened... a little.

    Over time, she learned to love the kitten as her own. Eventually, she realized that she could make room in her life for another, that maybe, just maybe, she was not Lord of All...

    ***

    Now... go do something! See you around,


    Darrell G. Wolfe

    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant | Multipotentialite

    Wednesday, April 18, 2018

    Writing Craft: Getting UnStuck

    Getting UnStuck - Story Structure Guiding The Path

    It quite common, especially for Pantsers (those who write by the seat of their pants with no real outline or plan ahead of time), to get stuck in your story. At some point, we hit a roadblock, writer's block, and can't think of what the story should be next.

    Story Structure Clues

    This is, in part, because we don't start with the outline that the stricture Outliners do. We can't even comprehend where the story will be going in order to outline.

    However, if we have an idea of the path (the skeleton of the structure), we can start to see a way through the hazy fog of the future. But even then, we can get stuck like I did last night.

    I'd written my way through and just couldn't imagine what needed to happen next. I know where the next major plot point is going to be and what (generally) will happen (Destiny is caught by the FBI but Ash escapes). But it's way to early to write that in the story timeline. If I write it now, it'll be out of left field. Nothing has progressed and it's just too early.

    Scene Structure Clues

    Then, I had to go back and look at my scenes. Every scene is a natural reaction to the one before it. The reaction becomes the action the next reacts to.

    Even the very first/opening scene of the book is simply a reaction to events that took place before the reader arrived.

    So I had to go back and re-read the scene that preceded to see what the natural reaction would be.

    Pro Note: Bill Myers said that his routine is to start by editing whatever he wrote at the last writing session, then start the new writing. This allows you to become aware of the action and set up the reaction.

    Up until this point, every reaction flowed effortlessly. I just saw the movie in my head and wrote it. This time, I just didn't see anything. Then two things happened.

    #1. Questions: I asked questions about the previous scene and made notes of things to address. 

    Small example, but, if Ash said he was hungry going to bed in the next scene doesn't make sense unless we address that. Did he go to bed hungry, did he eat? Maybe that drives the action to a kitchen or even out of the house to a restaurant?

    My questions/items to address from the previous scene:

    • What did Chester read that’s not good?
    • How do they react to a moment of closeness?
    • Ash is Hungry
    • He’s in the file so he wants to see it himself. 
    • He finds Eta in there, side note.
    • What else? What in there moves them forward?

    So I'm starting the next scene with ONE simple reaction to the previous scene. One sentence. That will drive the next and the next until the movie reel starts to play.
    “What’s not good?” Destiny sat a little straighter and leaned forward.
    #2. The Other Guy: I have two character's to keep track of. What's happening in the other guys world right now?

    This also reminded me that I have to Point of Views (POVs) running. The Blue and Light Blue scenes are both Ash (awake vs dreaming). I did light blue for his dreams so I could read just those and make sure there's a progressive revelation in the dreams.

    The Red scenes are those that follow along inside the head of Dr. Briar. If I go back and read the last red scene, I can then "react" to that scene. This turned out to be a gold mine, because it set up some information that will eventually lead to Destiny's capture. I didn't know how it would happen before last night, and I now have a clue.

    ReOrder

    I did re-order the scenes this morning. I wrote Dr. Briar's reaction scene, but it takes place the next morning. Ash's reaction scene is still taking place last night. So I just need to swap the order and put Ash's scene on top of Dr. Briar's so that I don't get my days/times out of order and confuse the reader.

    Go Back

    Now I can go back and start with my opening sentence (Detiny's reaction) and see where Ash's scene goes to finish out his turbulent day.

    Darrell G. Wolfe

    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant | Multipotentialite

    Pictures below for reference:










    The. End........ Not.

    Sunday, April 15, 2018

    Writing Craft: Show / Don't Tell

    Lessons I've learned about writing...

    In the world of creative writing, no phrase or lesson is more repeated than the famous:
    Show Don't Tell
    What does that mean, exactly? It means don't give me a fact but show it to me. Let the actions of the character tell me he's nervous. Let the characters actions and motives be so tied to the setting, that they direct what details I get to see.


    Read this:

    Dr. Briar sat nervously on a hand-made leather chair with mahogany inlays. 

    Now read this:

    Dr. Briar sat fidgeting in a hand-made leather chair, rotating his middle finger around on the mahogany inlays. 

    What's different?

    Dr. Briar sat nervously on a hand-made leather chair with mahogany inlays. 
    Dr. Briar sat fidgeting in a hand-made leather chair, rotating his middle finger around on the mahogany inlays. 

    We show him fidgeting and rotating his finger, this gives us more reason to talk about the inlays. But could this be better? Sure, there are a thousand ways to write this sentence. Let's add just a bit more detail.
    Dr. Briar sat flicking the magnetic strap of his tablet open and closed, periodically adjusting his potsition in the hand-made leather chair, rotating the middle finger of his other hand around on the mahogany inlays. 
    There's at least one problem with this new sentence. The structure is a bit off. "ING" is almost always death to a story, let's change that up a bit.
    Dr. Briar flicked the magnetic strap of his tablet open and closed, periodically adjusting his position in the hand-made leather chair, and rotated the middle finger of his other hand around on the mahogany inlays. 
    The ING wasn't awful, in this case, but changing this from a present tense ING to a past tense ED can help with consistency of storytelling and it gives a weight of finality to the phrase.



    This has been a lesson from the things I've learned about writing. Good day to you,


    Darrell G. Wolfe

    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant | Multipotentialite

    Friday, April 13, 2018

    Constitutional Amendment Proposition: We The People Clause

    Constitutional Amendment Proposition: We The People Clause

    We are taking back the government...

    It's high time for another amendment to the constitution. There are already several great proposals, including a Convention of the States to make it happen.

    As I've been thinking about it, there are several things I would like to see in an amendment. Here are a few points to consider:

    1. Preserve the Original Consitution: The amendments should reinforce or clarify the intent of the original constitution, not change it. Article 1, Section 9, paragraph 5 of the US Constitution says that there shall be no direct tax (income tax, property tax, etc.). The 16th Amendment Reversed this protection, and should never have been passed.
    16thPermits Congress to levy an income tax without apportioning it among the states or basing it on the United States Census.July 12, 1909February 3, 19133 years
    6 months
    22 days

    2. Power/Control: When you give government power, it does not like to give it back or reduce its influence. It's like a giant power suck. Case in point, the 27th Amendment was proposed to make sure that the Congress wouldn't give themselves raises, so it demanded that any raise given not take effect until after the next election. The result? It took 202 YEARS for a congress to finally ratify (agree) to the proposal.

    The 27th: Wiki
    27thDelays laws affecting Congressional salary from taking effect until after the next election of representatives.September 25, 1789May 5, 1992[5]202 years
    7 months
    10 days
    3. Amendments should clarify the rights of the people and restrict the rights of the Government.



    New Proposals

    That being said, here are some of the things I'd like to see in a new Constitutional Amendment:


    1. REPEAL THE 16TH AMENDMENT AND CLARIFY that no Tax, Levy, Fine, Fee, Ticket, or any other cost shall be laid on any individual person or entity or their property. This includes the removal and ban of all Income Taxes, Property Taxes, Traffic Tickets, Licencing Fees (driver's licenses, hunting licenses, or gun ownership licenses, etc.).


    2. HARD TERM LIMITS should be enacted for 100% of elected officials. The current state of affairs is a direct result of "career politicians". These offices were meant to be held by "statesmen", who were people leaving the private sector to serve in the state for a period and then return to live under the laws they produced or preserved.

    A. 2-Terms per office: No person shall hold any elected office at any level (Federal, State, County, City, or otherwise) for more than 2 terms in their lifetime.

    B. 4-Terms per individual: No person shall hold any combination of elected offices for more than 4 terms.


    3. HARD INCOME LIMITS: No elected official shall make more annually in total government compensation than the previous years US Household Median Income for the US Population as a whole; currently $43,585.00 annually.

    4. REAFFIRM THE 2ND AMENDMENT: No laws shall be passed regarding gun ownership except where an actual crime using a gun has been committed by the restricted.

    5. VICTIM REQUIREMENT: No law shall be passed or enforced making any activity illegal, nor shall any person or entity be prosecuted or jailed, except where a specific person/entity has caused a specific harm to a person's/entity's person or property. No government body shall be considered a person or entity, nor shall any government body be considered harmable under this protection.


    I'll probably come back an updated this later... you have any ideas? Comment below!


    Darrell G. Wolfe

    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant | Multipotentialite

    Tuesday, April 3, 2018

    Expression...

    Bob Hamp has a teaching called Freedom from Depression.

    He says that a synonym for Depression it Suppression; and, an antonym is Expression.

    In other words, the opposite of Depression is to allow the Expression of who you were created by God to be.

    As soon as I typed that, my Knowledge of Good tried to figure out how to make that happen. I started thinking about how to find out who or what I was created to be, then force it to happen, work harder at it, go get a degree, write more, do more of whatever the right stuff is...

    Wrong.

    All of that thinking comes from the wrong Tree... That's the Tree of Knowledge...

    It's trying harder the Knowledge of Good... 

    Totally the wrong tree.

    We must look to the other tree...

    LIFE is sourced in The One who created us.
    LIFE didn't require a single good deed. LIFE was received by simply being in the presence of The One.

    Adam was not made immortal, contrary to popular belief. Adam was made to require frequently the Tree of Life. As long as he ate of that tree, he would remain alive forever. Choosing the Tree of Knowledge cut him off from the Tree of Life.

    Eventually, the slow cadence of death took its toll and he died, 900+ years later. The source of life was strong enough to sustain him for that long without a refill.

    But only in the Presence of The One can we again find Life ourselves.

    Got Life?

    Selah

    Bonus thought: what activities in your life make you feel more alive and which make you feel less alive (more numb)?


    Darrell Wolfe

    Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant 

    me@DarrellWolfe.com

    www.DarrellWolfe.com





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