Skip to main content

DISCLOSURES - Cookies

I think this site uses cookies to analyze traffic and for ads measurement purposes. I'm not really sure, I don't do techy stuff. I built it on Google's Blogger platform, ask them. I put this here because some IDIOT BONEHEADS thought you needed new laws. Here're some links if you want more information.

DISCLOSURES

Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Writing Craft: Show / Don't Tell

Lessons I've learned about writing...

In the world of creative writing, no phrase or lesson is more repeated than the famous:
Show Don't Tell
What does that mean, exactly? It means don't give me a fact but show it to me. Let the actions of the character tell me he's nervous. Let the characters actions and motives be so tied to the setting, that they direct what details I get to see.


Read this:

Dr. Briar sat nervously on a hand-made leather chair with mahogany inlays. 

Now read this:

Dr. Briar sat fidgeting in a hand-made leather chair, rotating his middle finger around on the mahogany inlays. 

What's different?

Dr. Briar sat nervously on a hand-made leather chair with mahogany inlays. 
Dr. Briar sat fidgeting in a hand-made leather chair, rotating his middle finger around on the mahogany inlays. 

We show him fidgeting and rotating his finger, this gives us more reason to talk about the inlays. But could this be better? Sure, there are a thousand ways to write this sentence. Let's add just a bit more detail.
Dr. Briar sat flicking the magnetic strap of his tablet open and closed, periodically adjusting his potsition in the hand-made leather chair, rotating the middle finger of his other hand around on the mahogany inlays. 
There's at least one problem with this new sentence. The structure is a bit off. "ING" is almost always death to a story, let's change that up a bit.
Dr. Briar flicked the magnetic strap of his tablet open and closed, periodically adjusting his position in the hand-made leather chair, and rotated the middle finger of his other hand around on the mahogany inlays. 
The ING wasn't awful, in this case, but changing this from a present tense ING to a past tense ED can help with consistency of storytelling and it gives a weight of finality to the phrase.



This has been a lesson from the things I've learned about writing. Good day to you,


Darrell G. Wolfe

Storyteller | Writer | Thinker | Consultant | Multipotentialite

Comments

DISCLOSURES

DISCLOSURES

Some lawyers stay up at night trying to ruin free society and create new rules. Therefore, here are the disclosures I must have that you probably won't read.

Sign Up

Consider Supporting This Site: Become a Patron! Sign Up so you don't miss a post:

Special Delivery

* indicates required

View previous campaigns.

Powered by MailChimp

Darrell's Reading List


Here are some books I've been reading lately:
  • Hacker: The Outlaw Chronicles (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). The story of a young Hacker girl, who went on a wild adventure into the supernatural realm beyond trying to save her mom, but saved her self too in the process.
  • Saint: A Paradise Novel (here) by Ted Dekker (Author). He's an assassin, or is he? He finds a secret to his past that unlocks supernatural abilities, at a cost.
  • For a full list of all my book suggestions, see my Amazon Store.

Popular posts from this blog

The W Story Structure - 4 Sequence Story Structure

Out of everything I've ever read on story structure for fiction writing, the W-Story Structure makes the most sense to me. If you'd rather view these as Acts (3-Act or 4-Act) you can overlay that on this W and it still works.



Glen C. Strathy writes (in much more detail here) in his article, The W-Plot vs. The Dramatica Model of Story Structure. There are four sequences for most stories. Each of the four legs of the W is comprised of a sequence of events that lead the story along to it's natural conclusion.

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)Sequence 2: recovering from the problem (new ideas, positive momentum)Sequence 3: deepening of the problemSequence 4: the resolution of the problem (new light or understanding)

Sequence 1: setting up the problem (creating tension)
The Inciting Event (the event that is at the heart of the reason this story happened) may have occurred before your story begins, and often does. In King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017), th…

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople

Church Notes @Gatewaypeople
03/09/2014
Church Survey from 7 years ago.

Overview

1. Exploring God. Attending Church but not saved yet. Fellowship
T-the cross divides here...

2. Beginning in God. Relationship.

3. Close to God. Discipleship.

4. God Centered. Lordship.

Mark 4

Seed fell on four groups.



Levels of Friendship

1. Don't talk
 - Its not works.
 - ?
 - Free Gift .

Grace

2. Became Friends

God's Word

3. Talk Often. Best Friends

Giving


4. Committed into death.





Note*
What if you take what you HATE to do and use it as a chance to do what you LOVE to do???



Eradicate the word "had" from your writing.

I have been writing for years, first as a hobbiest with passing intrest, then semi-professionally as a blogger, then professionally as a Complaints Reporter and Letter Writers, and now as Technical Writer working on Policy & Procedure (P&P). In that time, I've had the opportunity to edit other's work even more often than my own.

Had is an easy way to clean up your manuscriptAmong the most common pitfalls I've seen, in both Nonfiction and Fiction writing, is the word "HAD". You can almost always simply delete it, and it the sentence will not only remain fully intact, but the meaning will be clearer.

I notice it in my writing, in my Letter Writers, and I've seen it three times today in other authors at Scribophile. Below are the works I critiqued/edited today.

Both are examples of good storytelling and world building. Both have edit issues to work out to be ready for publishing.

Both are examples of how incomplete craft (my own included) can be overcoming b…

The Great Divide: Light VS Darkness

The Great Divide: I know, I know... don't get in a debate on a website... I know I shouldn't but I do anyway sometimes. It's like casting pearl before swine... but at the same time, MAYBE someone else will benefit from seeing at least ONE person in the room make sense. So I did it. I had a debate in a comment thread on a science site. However...
As I look back at that comment thread that took place on a science site I am reminded of the great divide. As this world get's near it's end, the coming of Jesus, and the great tribulation... We are seeing a draw down of beliefs. Did you know atheism isn't the main enemy thought/teaching that the bible is concerned about. Atheism has no grounding in reality, so it can't hold very long. Scientists, serious scientists, are starting to look beyond atheism to pantheism, and other religious beliefs. They are even turning to alien worship and "channeling", which means talking to aliens through meditation and allow…

Topic: No More Facebook... for 28 days or more?

I Deactivated Facebook... for 28 days.
I'm not sure why yet.
I wasn't using it much, and when I did I found it distracting, in a non-productive way. I left Twitter up for now, and Google+ is so pervasive that I'd have to delete ALL my Google activity/accounts in order to walk away from it.

Deactivating is not the same as Deleting, that would be permanent. I set Facebook to auto-reactivate in 28 days. I want to run this as an experiment. Can I make it 28 days without Facebook? I think so. I may come back. I'm not sure yet.

What could I accomplish in the next 28 days? Write a new book? Publish some new posts? Work overtime at my job? I don't know. I'd like this to be more purposeful.
28 days from Dec 27, 2014Want to figure out the date that is exactly twenty-eight days from Dec 27, 2014 without counting?
Your starting date is December 27, 2014 so that means that 28 days later would be January 24, 2015.
You can check this by using the date difference calculator to meas…

Other sites I follow: